A friend and I went out for a late-night coffee chat, and found the cutest coffee shop downtown. Of course, conversation turned to boys. Discussing proposals, relationships, and overall dating tips, I was reminded that if a guy is actually attempting to date you, he'll do so with more than just a texting relationship with you.
It's no secret that sending texts back and forth between guys and girls is an easy way to find out how each other feels, yet it's all information that neither party would give up so quickly if in person. Texting is such a cop out. Instead of really working for a relationship to work, you can just text and get a sense of "getting to know someone" without going through the motions and spending the quality time together. How romantic will it be to tell your kids "Well, we spend hours and hours texting back and forth, in separate rooms, while preoccupied with other things, and it was just so intimate and special"? Please. Romance stories will never be written from the point of view of modern technology.
It's kind of a shame that seeking someone out for dinner or coffee is now a rare breed of human beings. When a guy asks a girl out for coffee to get to know each other, it's as if he is taking a giant leap for all men of his generation. There are still men who enjoy being in the same room as a female! Spending time with her! Man, he is just a diamond in the rough. It's sad that more men aren't this way, when instead they rely on technology to break down the walls without spending any quality time together.
I remember one time, as a freshman in college, a guy from my "brother dorm" (read: like fraternities have sister sororities, it's the same idea) who Facebook messaged me for a week straight, and we knew everything about each other and yet we hadn't even met face-to-face yet. So we decided to meet and go to church together one morning. First of all, it was awkward trying to meet and officially shake hands and introduce ourselves, even though I knew his whole life story. Then I have to hang out with him in pseudo-silence during church? It was just an awkward experience from beginning to end.
Men definitely still need to pursue the ladies, especially because it's the gentlemanly thing to do and they enjoy the chase, but it has to be through the right medium. Save texting for confirmation texts such as "Dinner at 6:30 tonight?" instead of full-on conversations. I'd much rather hear a man's voice, listening to not only his words but his tone of voice. The way a man speaks reveals so much about him that you wouldn't realize until you pay attention. What he's passionate about, how he speaks, word choice, sarcasm, etc. - There is so much more to learn that cannot be discovered through text messaging. Just put the phones away. If a guy wants to talk to you, he'll find a way to do it.
Seriously. If a guy wants to talk to you, he'll find a way how. Don't try and force it. Really.
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