This has been a tough road for me. I have felt more stressed than I feel like I ever have in my entire life. I've been through tough issues before, but it feels like this has been the longest stretch of time where I have felt completely lost and helpless. I don't have a direction for my life, and I don't know what is right or wrong. I like the city that I am in, but I don't like who I am becoming.
Even though there are many blessings around me, I still bring out the most negative part of every situation. I hate this quality about myself, especially when I am typically a happy, pleasant person.
I know I need a change or else my stress and anger will swallow me whole. There are days where I feel like packing everything into my car, and driving to the ocean for a fresh start. Somewhere that does not know my name or where I've been. At the edge of the ocean, all of my problems will simply melt away.
Does every 20-something go through this? I feel like I'm still so alone, even though everyone my age doesn't really know who they are just yet. I hear of other classmates' success and instead of being happy for them, I feel more weight on my shoulders to start my life. I know I was made for bigger and better things, but I cannot decide whether staying in this place is beneficial since I already have some connections created, but if my skin is itching to leave, where is the better place to go?
I don't want to run or escape my problems, but I just know in my heart that I was not meant to be doing what I am with my life. I feel like my life is passing me by, and it just started. I am not happy with my pseudo-successes here.
I do not feel prepared for life, but from what I know, I should be happier with my choices. I shouldn't be so upset. I shouldn't want to cry every day. What is this life? I barely recognize it myself.
Maybe it is time to sell everything I own, buy a boat, and live on the sea where my problems cannot find me.
