While on my Thanksgiving break from school (which could not have come any earlier...), my cell phone two-year plan was up, so it was time to upgrade. In my mind, I was assuming we'd show up, get a free upgrade to a sort of nicer phone, and be done with it. It turns out that I was too choose-y with my cell phone selections. I told the salesperson that I didn't want a touch screen, and I didn't want a Blackberry. That left me with two options: both that were extremely similar to my old phone, which was (in my opinion) good.
I wasn't really ready to give up the phone I loved, but I was sick of its' poor performance (it would shut off during text messages or in the middle of phone calls). I wanted something similar, and I wasn't ready to get into the world of smart phones just yet. My peers seem to feel that Blackberrys or iPhones are necessary, when really, they are not. No one needs to have Internet browsers on their phone, especially when every one of my peers also has a laptop that can search the Internet. Why look at a two-inch screen when you can view a 17-inch screen? Still, that idea baffles me.
I called my brother, who has a smart phone, and he said he would rather get rid of Internet from his laptop. I couldn't even imagine my laptop without Internet (well, actually, because my parents don't have WiFi, I don't have Internet on my laptop... so basically, it stays off during all trips back home).
My dad heavily hinted at the steadfast move toward all smart phones in the near future. He didn't want to force the newest smart phone on me, but at the same time, he didn't want me to be behind on the times among my peers in the competitive work force.
I really didn't want to give up my comfort of my cell phone, but I did recognize that receiving the latest news and e-mails on my phone rather than on my computer had its advantages. All in all, I ended up with a new smart phone, against my original wishes, but without full Internet capability (because I still would rather look at websites in their full size). It is so strange with the change of systems, and I hate figuring out what all of the little symbols mean when they flash on my phone.
I don't want to hate on my generation, but the simple capabilities of texting and phone calls are enough for me. I don't want all the extra apps, browsers, and other random bells and whistles that everyone else seems to feel is "necessary." It does feel nice to be ahead of the curve (slightly) with the newer smart phone, but I already miss my old phone. I know it'll be better for me in the long run, especially in my career.
Does anyone else have a smart phone, or does anyone regret not getting a smart phone? Let me know :) Am I the only one who feels like going back to landlines (maybe with the exception of texting)? It'd be nice to live a simple life and not able to be contacted at all hours of the day. It's quieter, and sometimes that quiet can be nice.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
(500) Days
Reasons Why I Should Become More Like Summer Finn from (500) Days of Summer:
1) She has a great sense of personal style. Although everything she wears isn’t perfect or the best outfit for her body type, she still makes it work.
2) She is bold about her values and fights for what she believes in. At the same time, she isn’t close-minded.
3) She apologizes before the sun sets upon her anger. She settles the score quickly, even if it isn’t a perfect resolution.
4) Summer is interested in off-the-wall things, which therefore makes her interesting.
5) Summer lays her feelings out on the line, without facing vulnerability.
Although there are so many, many other reasons that I should be more like Summer Finn, I must also find a balance between becoming her and being like Tom Hansen. Perfect, wonderful, glorious Tom Hansen. He's practically perfect in every way, just like Mary Poppins.
This One's For You.
Here in Cologne
I know I said it wrong
I walked you to the train
And back across alone
To my hotel room
And ordered me some food
And now I'm wondering why the floor has suddenly become a moving target
Four, three, two, one,
I'm letting you go
I will let go
If you will let go
Says here an astronaut
Put on a pair of diapers
Drove eighteen hours
To kill her boyfriend
And in my hotel room, I'm wondering
If you read that story too?
And if we both might
Be having the same imaginary conversation
Four, three, two, one,
I'm letting you go
I will let go
If you will let go
Weightless as I close my eyes
The ceiling opens in disguise
Such a painful trip
To find out this is it
And as I go to sleep
You'll be waking up
Four, three, two, one,
I'm letting you go
I will let go
If you will let go
[Ben Folds]
I know I said it wrong
I walked you to the train
And back across alone
To my hotel room
And ordered me some food
And now I'm wondering why the floor has suddenly become a moving target
Four, three, two, one,
I'm letting you go
I will let go
If you will let go
Says here an astronaut
Put on a pair of diapers
Drove eighteen hours
To kill her boyfriend
And in my hotel room, I'm wondering
If you read that story too?
And if we both might
Be having the same imaginary conversation
Four, three, two, one,
I'm letting you go
I will let go
If you will let go
Weightless as I close my eyes
The ceiling opens in disguise
Such a painful trip
To find out this is it
And as I go to sleep
You'll be waking up
Four, three, two, one,
I'm letting you go
I will let go
If you will let go
[Ben Folds]
Saturday, November 6, 2010
I Am Unafraid To Speak
I am in a battle. I am constantly at war.
People are trying to tear me, my faith, my friends down. I've had enough. I combat nearly every day for the things I love. The reason I argue so much is for the people I love or the things I believe in. I am passionate toward many subjects, which brings out the animal instinct from within me.
You do not intimidate me. You, with your cutting words, trying to trip me up. You attack me, and yet I recover from every blow.
I will let my voice be heard, and I am not afraid of what you have up your sleeve.
"What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs." - Luke 12:3
I lived that verse today. Regardless of my past, I still wear a thick suit of armor in order to fight off any intruders. You have no power over me. You cannot defeat me, and you cannot win this battle.
It is not a stalemate - I will win. Believe it.
People are trying to tear me, my faith, my friends down. I've had enough. I combat nearly every day for the things I love. The reason I argue so much is for the people I love or the things I believe in. I am passionate toward many subjects, which brings out the animal instinct from within me.
You do not intimidate me. You, with your cutting words, trying to trip me up. You attack me, and yet I recover from every blow.
I will let my voice be heard, and I am not afraid of what you have up your sleeve.
"What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs." - Luke 12:3
I lived that verse today. Regardless of my past, I still wear a thick suit of armor in order to fight off any intruders. You have no power over me. You cannot defeat me, and you cannot win this battle.
It is not a stalemate - I will win. Believe it.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Re-Focused.
I feel like a lot of my blogs have to do about me "claiming" to get back on track in my life. I always have room to improve, of course. But get ready for one last blog about my re-focusing for the year.
I have 43 days until I am officially done with Liberty classes forever and ever. Because that number is strickeningly close, I have decided that some changes need to be made for a strong finish to my college career, as well as solidifying some constants in my life.
First of all, my diet needs to change. I grab a lot of pre-packaged foods in order to snack during classes instead of buying things in bulk or cooking my own food and bringing it with me. One of my resolutions is to not drink soda (yes, I say 'soda' now because of my 3 1/2 years in Virginia!) until I graduate. This is most likely going to be difficult seeing as I get free soda at work, and it's one of the staples I love to drink whenever I have pizza, which is every week.
Also, I've been trying to maintain/lose some weight and I still want to be a comfortable size 6 by the time of graduation. That is kind of scary since time is ticking quickly. I did work out yesterday, and I felt really refreshed from doing so, but my knees have been bothering me ever since running my 5K. On that note, my 5K was really successful! I ran the entire thing in 34:16, which equals about 11 min/mile. Clearly that isn't the best time, but I was aiming for 30 minutes, and I'm happy enough with 34:16. It was a good, quick run and over 1,700 people participated in the run! If everyone registered the $24 for the race, that means we raised almost $41,000 for freeing girls in the sex slave industry in Thailand! It was a really good environment, great weather, and an awesome community.
One other major thing that I am trying to cement as a life pattern for me is finally sticking to a devotional plan for reading from God's word every day. For years, I have struggled with reading the Bible consistently every day or every other day. On Sunday, I realized during church how refreshing it is to open God's word and to read such easy, simple truths that solidify my relationship with Christ. One of the books that really struck me was 1 Peter, and so that's where I started my daily devotional reading. Today, I re-read chapter 1 to see what I could glean from it and I read "his Spirit has made you holy" in verse 2. In some way, that's extremely overwhelming. Do you realize how much pressure is on you if you're considered holy? It's a bit too much to bear at times. Seeing that God sees me as holy pushes me to live my way in a similar light.
Anyway, to update you all, only 18 days until Thanksgiving break, 43 days until my final Final ever, and 44 days until I leave Virginia. I am excited for Christmas Break, as I am spending some much needed time with extended family and I'll be able to celebrate my graduation right. No more Liberty Way, no more censorship, and no more college responsibilities.
I am so excited to make a home for myself now, and to be responsible for decorating and keeping up my own home. I can't wait to do the things I want to do with my kitchen! If you want to get me a graduation gift, Williams&Sonoma gift cards are always acceptable. :)
To the relationships I've made in Virginia, I have thoroughly appreciated everything you all have done for me for the past four years. It has been great to grow with you, learn from group experiences, and for you all to partake in my becoming a better person. I know I have grown since freshman year, and it's been a quick wild ride.
I promise to update within the next 43 days...most likely when I'm about to break down from everything coming to a close way too fast.
I have 43 days until I am officially done with Liberty classes forever and ever. Because that number is strickeningly close, I have decided that some changes need to be made for a strong finish to my college career, as well as solidifying some constants in my life.
First of all, my diet needs to change. I grab a lot of pre-packaged foods in order to snack during classes instead of buying things in bulk or cooking my own food and bringing it with me. One of my resolutions is to not drink soda (yes, I say 'soda' now because of my 3 1/2 years in Virginia!) until I graduate. This is most likely going to be difficult seeing as I get free soda at work, and it's one of the staples I love to drink whenever I have pizza, which is every week.
Also, I've been trying to maintain/lose some weight and I still want to be a comfortable size 6 by the time of graduation. That is kind of scary since time is ticking quickly. I did work out yesterday, and I felt really refreshed from doing so, but my knees have been bothering me ever since running my 5K. On that note, my 5K was really successful! I ran the entire thing in 34:16, which equals about 11 min/mile. Clearly that isn't the best time, but I was aiming for 30 minutes, and I'm happy enough with 34:16. It was a good, quick run and over 1,700 people participated in the run! If everyone registered the $24 for the race, that means we raised almost $41,000 for freeing girls in the sex slave industry in Thailand! It was a really good environment, great weather, and an awesome community.
One other major thing that I am trying to cement as a life pattern for me is finally sticking to a devotional plan for reading from God's word every day. For years, I have struggled with reading the Bible consistently every day or every other day. On Sunday, I realized during church how refreshing it is to open God's word and to read such easy, simple truths that solidify my relationship with Christ. One of the books that really struck me was 1 Peter, and so that's where I started my daily devotional reading. Today, I re-read chapter 1 to see what I could glean from it and I read "his Spirit has made you holy" in verse 2. In some way, that's extremely overwhelming. Do you realize how much pressure is on you if you're considered holy? It's a bit too much to bear at times. Seeing that God sees me as holy pushes me to live my way in a similar light.
Anyway, to update you all, only 18 days until Thanksgiving break, 43 days until my final Final ever, and 44 days until I leave Virginia. I am excited for Christmas Break, as I am spending some much needed time with extended family and I'll be able to celebrate my graduation right. No more Liberty Way, no more censorship, and no more college responsibilities.
I am so excited to make a home for myself now, and to be responsible for decorating and keeping up my own home. I can't wait to do the things I want to do with my kitchen! If you want to get me a graduation gift, Williams&Sonoma gift cards are always acceptable. :)
To the relationships I've made in Virginia, I have thoroughly appreciated everything you all have done for me for the past four years. It has been great to grow with you, learn from group experiences, and for you all to partake in my becoming a better person. I know I have grown since freshman year, and it's been a quick wild ride.
I promise to update within the next 43 days...most likely when I'm about to break down from everything coming to a close way too fast.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Romanticism
In relationships, I am almost always the one who plays realist or the devil's advocate. I just want to be practical in relationships, especially because I always fall so easily. As a form of protection, I want to be realistic at all times.
But while I want to protect myself, there are times when the true girly-girl comes out in me. And then, good ol' Taylor Swift comes on the radio, and I realize that I am so much more feminine than I ever thought I could have been.
You said, "I remember how we felt, sitting by the water./ And every time I look at you, it's like the first time./ I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter./ She is the best thing that's ever been mine."
As soon as I hear those words in "Mine," I realize how much I want to be with someone for the rest of my life. Not that I ever doubted wanting to have one true love, but I feel that there is no man who would want to put up with me 24/7, nor would I even have the time or energy to put into a long-lasting relationship.
All of my relationships have been quick and over before I know it, which I completely understand. I always am evolving and my world is always changing, and the boyfriend phase is the same way. It is hard for me to see someone sticking with me through the thick and thin, even though that's something I desperately want.
I am only 22 years old, and I know that I'm still young, but I cannot wait to have someone in the long term since I haven't found that yet. My life is just about to start, and I can't wait to see the road ahead, and it would be great to share that with someone else. Anyone want to be along for the journey? Until I find that someone, I guess I'll just stick to singing Taylor Swift and dreaming along with her perfect paradise painted in her songs.
But while I want to protect myself, there are times when the true girly-girl comes out in me. And then, good ol' Taylor Swift comes on the radio, and I realize that I am so much more feminine than I ever thought I could have been.
You said, "I remember how we felt, sitting by the water./ And every time I look at you, it's like the first time./ I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter./ She is the best thing that's ever been mine."
As soon as I hear those words in "Mine," I realize how much I want to be with someone for the rest of my life. Not that I ever doubted wanting to have one true love, but I feel that there is no man who would want to put up with me 24/7, nor would I even have the time or energy to put into a long-lasting relationship.
All of my relationships have been quick and over before I know it, which I completely understand. I always am evolving and my world is always changing, and the boyfriend phase is the same way. It is hard for me to see someone sticking with me through the thick and thin, even though that's something I desperately want.
I am only 22 years old, and I know that I'm still young, but I cannot wait to have someone in the long term since I haven't found that yet. My life is just about to start, and I can't wait to see the road ahead, and it would be great to share that with someone else. Anyone want to be along for the journey? Until I find that someone, I guess I'll just stick to singing Taylor Swift and dreaming along with her perfect paradise painted in her songs.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
The Garage
There's a man who sits in his garage all day, every day. He has the garage door open to let in light, and he simply sits in a collapsible chair. He never has a book in hand, or a drink sitting next to him. He finds himself content all day, every day. How? He just sits and thinks. I wish I could be completely content without any aid.
-------------------
Philosophical things aside, busy-ness has consumed me lately. School has been overwhelming with the amount of reading and homework due nightly. It's my last semester of college, and as much as I'm trying to savor every moment, it is hard to balance fun and work and homework. This weekend is fall break, so I finally caught up on sleep. Thursday night, I finally went to Scaremare (first time in 3 1/2 years!) and got scared to death. I had to hold on to my friend for dear life... which is embarrassing for a 22-year-old girl to admit.
Also, I finally ate Waffle House at 2 a.m. Aren't I such a hip college kid, doing everything cliche... anyway, it was a good time.
The weekend before this, I went to Nashville, Tenn., for the Baptist Press Conference. It was so much fun - just me and three fellow journalists in a bigger city. We met many interesting people, from Fox News radio anchor Todd Starnes to Genesis photography principal Gary Fong. Seeing other schools' newspapers was really great, too. I love seeing the creativity of their newspapers and what ideas they come up with for topical coverage of their campuses. One great thing about Nashville was the 85th anniversary of the Grand Ole Opry. I had never been to the Opry before, but I saw Trace Adkins, Taylor Swift, and Dolly Parton live! It was such a great experience, and it was also the last thing we did before we left Nashville. It was the best way to end on a high note in Nashville.
It has been exhilarating experiencing everything in my final days in Lynchburg. I don't know where I'm going from here, but I cannot wait for the road ahead. I'm tired of Lynchburg. I'm tired of life as I know it right now. I'm tired in every sense of the word.
Everything is coming at me so fast, and I'm just along for the ride. I still don't know where I'm headed, but I'll let you in for flashes along the ride as well.
Oh, and one last thing - I am running a 5k next weekend for the Freedom 4/24 foundation (www.freedom424.org). I'm excited for the race, and for the handful of friends who are running with me. It's a great cause, and even though the run is going to hurt, it's going to be worth it.
I hope to fill you all in more often than what I have been. Here's to hoping!
-------------------
Philosophical things aside, busy-ness has consumed me lately. School has been overwhelming with the amount of reading and homework due nightly. It's my last semester of college, and as much as I'm trying to savor every moment, it is hard to balance fun and work and homework. This weekend is fall break, so I finally caught up on sleep. Thursday night, I finally went to Scaremare (first time in 3 1/2 years!) and got scared to death. I had to hold on to my friend for dear life... which is embarrassing for a 22-year-old girl to admit.
Also, I finally ate Waffle House at 2 a.m. Aren't I such a hip college kid, doing everything cliche... anyway, it was a good time.
The weekend before this, I went to Nashville, Tenn., for the Baptist Press Conference. It was so much fun - just me and three fellow journalists in a bigger city. We met many interesting people, from Fox News radio anchor Todd Starnes to Genesis photography principal Gary Fong. Seeing other schools' newspapers was really great, too. I love seeing the creativity of their newspapers and what ideas they come up with for topical coverage of their campuses. One great thing about Nashville was the 85th anniversary of the Grand Ole Opry. I had never been to the Opry before, but I saw Trace Adkins, Taylor Swift, and Dolly Parton live! It was such a great experience, and it was also the last thing we did before we left Nashville. It was the best way to end on a high note in Nashville.
It has been exhilarating experiencing everything in my final days in Lynchburg. I don't know where I'm going from here, but I cannot wait for the road ahead. I'm tired of Lynchburg. I'm tired of life as I know it right now. I'm tired in every sense of the word.
Everything is coming at me so fast, and I'm just along for the ride. I still don't know where I'm headed, but I'll let you in for flashes along the ride as well.
Oh, and one last thing - I am running a 5k next weekend for the Freedom 4/24 foundation (www.freedom424.org). I'm excited for the race, and for the handful of friends who are running with me. It's a great cause, and even though the run is going to hurt, it's going to be worth it.
I hope to fill you all in more often than what I have been. Here's to hoping!
Monday, September 6, 2010
Ingrid Michaelson.
If you are a female between the ages of 15 and 30, you have got to listen to Ingrid Michaelson at least once in your life. Most likely you have heard of her song "The Way I Am" on the radio, which is a good song, but definitely not her best. She understands every facet of relationships and romance imaginable. She has either suffered massive heartache, watched too many rom-coms, or both.
I was listening to her as I was driving home from the airport today, and her music just explodes when I hear it. Every time her music comes on, I go through an emotional roller coaster with her. Her song "December Baby" and "Corner of Your Heart" strike me in such a strong way. "December Baby" states, "You have had your fill, your fill of me." and "Corner of Your Heart" tells of the pathetic feeling many girls feel when they are desperately in love with someone whose feelings are not reciprocated. Unrequited love, as Ingrid sings, "I would live this man just to be one minute of your day," hurts my heart.
Another song is much more realistic in love. "Just because there once was love/ don't mean a thing, don't mean a thing" she sings... And it hits like a hammer. Even though things used to be so great doesn't mean it will ever turn back to that. Things can only be idyllic in the moment, but unlike a perfect snow globe where the moment is held still in time forever, real life must eventually change and evolve.
Oh, how I wish some things had just stayed the same. But "you have had your fill, your fill of me."
On another note, my sister came to visit this weekend -- She's never been here before, so it was nice to show her around! And because we're terrible people, we didn't take any pictures so there is no photographic evidence of her ever being here, but we hiked, we ate, we shopped... typical sister stuff. :) It was great for her to see what I see every day, experience my lifestyle and view my apartment. I love my sister, and I wish she didn't have to go back to her life already, but alas, only a weekend was what we were both able to spare. :(
Either way, I'm happy she came to visit, and hopefully I see her sooner rather than later... once all of the usual family vacation stuff is figured out. And I know what I'm getting for her already for Christmas (and this isn't a surprise) - it's CoCo Wheats! haha... Apparently our family is the only one to eat those, but they're delicious! Think like sweet grits or chocolate cream of wheat or something. It's so good!
Yum, yum, yum! :)
I was listening to her as I was driving home from the airport today, and her music just explodes when I hear it. Every time her music comes on, I go through an emotional roller coaster with her. Her song "December Baby" and "Corner of Your Heart" strike me in such a strong way. "December Baby" states, "You have had your fill, your fill of me." and "Corner of Your Heart" tells of the pathetic feeling many girls feel when they are desperately in love with someone whose feelings are not reciprocated. Unrequited love, as Ingrid sings, "I would live this man just to be one minute of your day," hurts my heart.
Another song is much more realistic in love. "Just because there once was love/ don't mean a thing, don't mean a thing" she sings... And it hits like a hammer. Even though things used to be so great doesn't mean it will ever turn back to that. Things can only be idyllic in the moment, but unlike a perfect snow globe where the moment is held still in time forever, real life must eventually change and evolve.
Oh, how I wish some things had just stayed the same. But "you have had your fill, your fill of me."
On another note, my sister came to visit this weekend -- She's never been here before, so it was nice to show her around! And because we're terrible people, we didn't take any pictures so there is no photographic evidence of her ever being here, but we hiked, we ate, we shopped... typical sister stuff. :) It was great for her to see what I see every day, experience my lifestyle and view my apartment. I love my sister, and I wish she didn't have to go back to her life already, but alas, only a weekend was what we were both able to spare. :(
Either way, I'm happy she came to visit, and hopefully I see her sooner rather than later... once all of the usual family vacation stuff is figured out. And I know what I'm getting for her already for Christmas (and this isn't a surprise) - it's CoCo Wheats! haha... Apparently our family is the only one to eat those, but they're delicious! Think like sweet grits or chocolate cream of wheat or something. It's so good!
Yum, yum, yum! :)
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Why do we do this to ourselves?
There is one main thing that I cannot stand about us women: when we start to like a guy, we become dumb. I'm not suggesting we literally lose brain cells, but when I have a new crush, it's like all of my intelligence momentarily goes away. I hate when we women lose all of our smarts, whether it be physically looking out for yourself, or even who we'd be dating in the first place.
I see so many girls with such high ambitions and drive, and then once they get into a relationship, it's like all of their independence flutters away. I am guilty of this as well, but it pains me to see my friends go through this absence of intelligence, too.
Is there any way we can avoid this? Is there any way we can just... not sacrifice our education or our boldness or our values for a guy?
Seriously, what is it about guys that make us so crazy? Another one of life's little mysteries...
I see so many girls with such high ambitions and drive, and then once they get into a relationship, it's like all of their independence flutters away. I am guilty of this as well, but it pains me to see my friends go through this absence of intelligence, too.
Is there any way we can avoid this? Is there any way we can just... not sacrifice our education or our boldness or our values for a guy?
Seriously, what is it about guys that make us so crazy? Another one of life's little mysteries...
Thursday, August 26, 2010
School has begun.
Have you noticed the lack of posts? There is a reason for this... and that is school.
I am already taking in a bit too much. I'm not overwhelmed, but I am highly aware that I have a few too many things on my plate. My first round of articles that I am editing are due tomorrow by 3pm, and thus begins the editor's editing process. Intense! I am excited, but I really, really hope that the material is good. I will be very disappointed if all of my writers fail me. I'm extremely optimistic, especially since their topics are so great for this week.
Although classes started on Monday, I still feel like I'm in a haze. I am simply going through the motions of school and learning instead of actually getting in the zone.
I just wrote most of my first article though, so thankfully that's out of the way.
More details about my life later... Just no time right now! Not to mention I'm not even feeling philosophical, so... we'll see when my next post is.
I am already taking in a bit too much. I'm not overwhelmed, but I am highly aware that I have a few too many things on my plate. My first round of articles that I am editing are due tomorrow by 3pm, and thus begins the editor's editing process. Intense! I am excited, but I really, really hope that the material is good. I will be very disappointed if all of my writers fail me. I'm extremely optimistic, especially since their topics are so great for this week.
Although classes started on Monday, I still feel like I'm in a haze. I am simply going through the motions of school and learning instead of actually getting in the zone.
I just wrote most of my first article though, so thankfully that's out of the way.
More details about my life later... Just no time right now! Not to mention I'm not even feeling philosophical, so... we'll see when my next post is.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Johnny & June
I have been fascinated with Johnny Cash for many, many years. His music has such truth to it, as well as such simplicity that I don't understand how some do not like his songs.
What has continued to astound me about Johnny Cash was his love for June Carter Cash. Their love story was such a twisted atypical romance, where it seems like Johnny depended on June for everything from major struggles to simple day-to-day tasks. June was the one who helped Johnny kick his longtime drug habit, and it was June who also wrote some of his most popular songs (such as "Ring of Fire").
I really admire June Carter Cash for her strength while dealing with Johnny's mess. She had such damage from two previous husbands and a child from each marriage before she even married Johnny. She was able to break apart from her family's fame and find success on her own terms. She played many musical instruments, enrolled in acting classes, and was funny to boot. She was the real deal.
How did Johnny deserve someone so good? He had so much emotional baggage from his childhood, an apathetic father, and many addictions he had to break. June was so patient with him, and she was able to get through to him unlike anyone else.
While their love story worked for the two of them, is it good for her to be so strong and for him to be the dependent? She really was independent and was able to take care of herself. She was strong. She had a good head on her shoulders. She didn't need to bring herself down with Johnny... so why did she deal with it?
Not saying that their marriage wasn't right, because I don't believe that, but I would think it would be hard to stay strong every day for the man she loved.
In the song, "Johnny and June" by Heidi Newfield, she glorifies their relationship by stating she wants a love just as strong as theirs. I can't decide if I could be happy being June Carter Cash to someone's Johnny. As much as I would love to walk the line for someone, I would not be able to handle the daily struggles as June encountered. She was a strong woman - I can't argue that.
What has continued to astound me about Johnny Cash was his love for June Carter Cash. Their love story was such a twisted atypical romance, where it seems like Johnny depended on June for everything from major struggles to simple day-to-day tasks. June was the one who helped Johnny kick his longtime drug habit, and it was June who also wrote some of his most popular songs (such as "Ring of Fire").
I really admire June Carter Cash for her strength while dealing with Johnny's mess. She had such damage from two previous husbands and a child from each marriage before she even married Johnny. She was able to break apart from her family's fame and find success on her own terms. She played many musical instruments, enrolled in acting classes, and was funny to boot. She was the real deal.How did Johnny deserve someone so good? He had so much emotional baggage from his childhood, an apathetic father, and many addictions he had to break. June was so patient with him, and she was able to get through to him unlike anyone else.
While their love story worked for the two of them, is it good for her to be so strong and for him to be the dependent? She really was independent and was able to take care of herself. She was strong. She had a good head on her shoulders. She didn't need to bring herself down with Johnny... so why did she deal with it?
Not saying that their marriage wasn't right, because I don't believe that, but I would think it would be hard to stay strong every day for the man she loved.
In the song, "Johnny and June" by Heidi Newfield, she glorifies their relationship by stating she wants a love just as strong as theirs. I can't decide if I could be happy being June Carter Cash to someone's Johnny. As much as I would love to walk the line for someone, I would not be able to handle the daily struggles as June encountered. She was a strong woman - I can't argue that.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Let's Get Physical
I just went on a walk. After only 20 minutes, I was done. I had a pain in my side, I was short of breath... I am not an old woman, so why does my body act like I am? Again, it's time to cleanse the body and with the school year starting, I am actually excited to make my own meals and create some healthy snacks for throughout the day.
My goal is to be a comfortable size 6 by graduation in December. This means I can't go out to eat often, and if I do, I have to pick a healthy meal. My downfall for the past two weeks has been going to dinner, and then ordering dessert on top of that. Thankfully, I really won't have the money for dessert and dinner unless I make it myself. It's time to streamline my eating, and pump up the exercise.
My school schedule allows that my entire mornings are free, so that means I have no excuse but to wake up, work out, then shower and get ready for the rest of my day. I know my body will thank me for it.
In addition, let me just shout out to the Adam Carolla podcast. Whenever I go on a walk, I usually listen to Adam and Teresa Strasser complaining about who knows what for the day. Not to mention, they have the best comedians on and discuss important issues. I personally love when Ed Begley Jr. is on to bring awareness about environmentally-friendly living. The Adam Carolla podcast helps me pass the time as I walk so I don't feel like my songs are just running in one ear and out the other. Not to mention it's the number 1 podcast on iTunes...and has been for a while. And it's free! Can you really go wrong?
My goal is to be a comfortable size 6 by graduation in December. This means I can't go out to eat often, and if I do, I have to pick a healthy meal. My downfall for the past two weeks has been going to dinner, and then ordering dessert on top of that. Thankfully, I really won't have the money for dessert and dinner unless I make it myself. It's time to streamline my eating, and pump up the exercise.
My school schedule allows that my entire mornings are free, so that means I have no excuse but to wake up, work out, then shower and get ready for the rest of my day. I know my body will thank me for it.
In addition, let me just shout out to the Adam Carolla podcast. Whenever I go on a walk, I usually listen to Adam and Teresa Strasser complaining about who knows what for the day. Not to mention, they have the best comedians on and discuss important issues. I personally love when Ed Begley Jr. is on to bring awareness about environmentally-friendly living. The Adam Carolla podcast helps me pass the time as I walk so I don't feel like my songs are just running in one ear and out the other. Not to mention it's the number 1 podcast on iTunes...and has been for a while. And it's free! Can you really go wrong?
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Summer. Past Tense.
Sorry it's been three days since I last updated... I kinda haven't noticed it's been that long...
In recent developments, my roommate got a kitten two days ago! It's adorable, yet scratches like none other. But it has super blue eyes, and black/brown fur. She's so tiny that she's probably the size of a 5x7 photograph. Her little meows are adorable, though! They don't even sound like a real cat.
It's so tiny! She slept next to me last night, but I woke up many times to her standing on my head or biting my ear. We're working on disciplining her... haha. Right now, a squirt water bottle is going to be her reprimand.
Also, I worked last night with my good friend Paul and he said something about how summer was great. I said "Summer WAS great? Paul, summer is over! Oh noooooooooooo!" (or maybe something slightly less dramatic than that...). I cannot believe summer is already over. Actually, officially for four more days, it isn't. But school starts on Monday. I have 19 credits this semester, with four of them dealing with the Liberty Champion (our student newspaper).
I'm sure I'll be busy, and I know I'll be working two-three days a week along with working with the paper constantly. I know I'll get everything done, but it's time to get my head in the game. I have all of my books, but other than that, I am not prepared for this new school year. I think I am going to be grabbing some syllabuses later today (gross).
Deep breath. It's time for my last semester of college EVER. Oh, dear, so excited. :)
In recent developments, my roommate got a kitten two days ago! It's adorable, yet scratches like none other. But it has super blue eyes, and black/brown fur. She's so tiny that she's probably the size of a 5x7 photograph. Her little meows are adorable, though! They don't even sound like a real cat.
It's so tiny! She slept next to me last night, but I woke up many times to her standing on my head or biting my ear. We're working on disciplining her... haha. Right now, a squirt water bottle is going to be her reprimand.Also, I worked last night with my good friend Paul and he said something about how summer was great. I said "Summer WAS great? Paul, summer is over! Oh noooooooooooo!" (or maybe something slightly less dramatic than that...). I cannot believe summer is already over. Actually, officially for four more days, it isn't. But school starts on Monday. I have 19 credits this semester, with four of them dealing with the Liberty Champion (our student newspaper).
I'm sure I'll be busy, and I know I'll be working two-three days a week along with working with the paper constantly. I know I'll get everything done, but it's time to get my head in the game. I have all of my books, but other than that, I am not prepared for this new school year. I think I am going to be grabbing some syllabuses later today (gross).
Deep breath. It's time for my last semester of college EVER. Oh, dear, so excited. :)
Monday, August 16, 2010
Piece of Fiction
The following is a short story, a piece of fiction, entitled "Boy Meets Girl Again."
He knocked on her door with his usual rap-rap-rapping, just as he always had before. He was strangely confident, but he did not know why. Knocking again, with a certain pattern, he took a deep breath as he heard footsteps coming closer to the door.
She opened the door, smiled, and invited him in.
He immediately noticed her apartment had been completely reconfigured. Furniture was rearranged, new paint adorned the walls, and she was wearing a new, more polished outfit. The apartment was much more put together than he realized. He thought of his own apartment, with no noticeable changes made to it in the past two years since he moved in.
She walked into the kitchen, leaving him to follow behind, and she started making tea using the teapot he had bought her four months ago at a yard sale. She asked him if he wanted some, and he happily agreed. Seeing the teapot renewed his feelings for her, as she had kept the teapot all this time.
Once the tea was poured, they both sat near each other to catch up on each others' lives. As soon as she sat down, the awkwardness ensued. Not knowing what to ask, or where to start, their tea was sipped in silence. She daintily put down her teacup and opened the refrigerator to start a cheese plate for the two of them. As she opened the refrigerator, he finally noticed the ring that shone bright from her left-hand ring finger. His heart sank instantly.
Without thinking, he stood up, shifting his weight from one foot to another. Turning around, she looked at him in a confused manner. He mustered up enough sense to nervously wave goodbye to her without saying another word.
She shrugged her shoulders, puzzled but not distraught. She noticed a piece of paper on the table in front of where he had been sitting. She opened the piece of paper to see "I am still in love with you" written in his familiar handwriting. She folded the note, sighed, and threw the piece of paper away. As much as their history flooded her brain in that moment that she read his words, she knew that was the past and that was it. She could only move forward, and it was time for him to do the same.
He knocked on her door with his usual rap-rap-rapping, just as he always had before. He was strangely confident, but he did not know why. Knocking again, with a certain pattern, he took a deep breath as he heard footsteps coming closer to the door.
She opened the door, smiled, and invited him in.
He immediately noticed her apartment had been completely reconfigured. Furniture was rearranged, new paint adorned the walls, and she was wearing a new, more polished outfit. The apartment was much more put together than he realized. He thought of his own apartment, with no noticeable changes made to it in the past two years since he moved in.
She walked into the kitchen, leaving him to follow behind, and she started making tea using the teapot he had bought her four months ago at a yard sale. She asked him if he wanted some, and he happily agreed. Seeing the teapot renewed his feelings for her, as she had kept the teapot all this time.
Once the tea was poured, they both sat near each other to catch up on each others' lives. As soon as she sat down, the awkwardness ensued. Not knowing what to ask, or where to start, their tea was sipped in silence. She daintily put down her teacup and opened the refrigerator to start a cheese plate for the two of them. As she opened the refrigerator, he finally noticed the ring that shone bright from her left-hand ring finger. His heart sank instantly.
Without thinking, he stood up, shifting his weight from one foot to another. Turning around, she looked at him in a confused manner. He mustered up enough sense to nervously wave goodbye to her without saying another word.
She shrugged her shoulders, puzzled but not distraught. She noticed a piece of paper on the table in front of where he had been sitting. She opened the piece of paper to see "I am still in love with you" written in his familiar handwriting. She folded the note, sighed, and threw the piece of paper away. As much as their history flooded her brain in that moment that she read his words, she knew that was the past and that was it. She could only move forward, and it was time for him to do the same.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Moment by Moment
Sometimes there are days where I feel my breath getting caught in my chest. My emotional state can sometimes take the very wind out of me. There are, unfortunately, things I wish I could get out of my system and out of my memory.
They say that men think of things like waffles, and girls see things like spaghetti. In this example, men are able to compartmentalize their emotions, their feelings about people, or work, etc. Women, on the other hand, feel all of their feelings about every subject all at once - just like spaghetti is intertwined.
I wish I was able to compartmentalize my feelings. It would be much easier to not let certain feelings overrule how I feel throughout the day or dictate the fulfillment of my day.
People always tell me that I'm so strong, but when it comes to just me, by myself, I feel so broken down. My walls are only down to myself, and in that vulnerability, I can see so many flaws or tiny fractions of memories that I thought were tucked away that unfortunately come to the surface during my solitude. Things I should be over, things I shouldn't care about, things I thought I didn't obsess over. Apparently it is only when I am with people that all of those feelings go away, but when I am by myself, it is when I am the worst off. Perhaps it is like they say, that people can become their own worst enemy. I feel like my thought process brings out the worst in me at times. I become the weakest, or the most vengeful, or the pettiest.
Deep breaths remind me that I'm still battling. Deep breaths are the only external thing that show the internal struggle. Deep breaths help me work through the pain that has become my own guarded tower during my loneliness.
They say that men think of things like waffles, and girls see things like spaghetti. In this example, men are able to compartmentalize their emotions, their feelings about people, or work, etc. Women, on the other hand, feel all of their feelings about every subject all at once - just like spaghetti is intertwined.
I wish I was able to compartmentalize my feelings. It would be much easier to not let certain feelings overrule how I feel throughout the day or dictate the fulfillment of my day.
People always tell me that I'm so strong, but when it comes to just me, by myself, I feel so broken down. My walls are only down to myself, and in that vulnerability, I can see so many flaws or tiny fractions of memories that I thought were tucked away that unfortunately come to the surface during my solitude. Things I should be over, things I shouldn't care about, things I thought I didn't obsess over. Apparently it is only when I am with people that all of those feelings go away, but when I am by myself, it is when I am the worst off. Perhaps it is like they say, that people can become their own worst enemy. I feel like my thought process brings out the worst in me at times. I become the weakest, or the most vengeful, or the pettiest.
Deep breaths remind me that I'm still battling. Deep breaths are the only external thing that show the internal struggle. Deep breaths help me work through the pain that has become my own guarded tower during my loneliness.
Dear friend.
Dear friend,
so if you wanna burn yourself remember that I love you
and if you wanna cut yourself remember that I love you
and if you wanna kill yourself remember that I love you
call me up before your dead, we can make some plans instead
send me an IM, I'll be your friend
Love, Abby
[Courtesy of "Loose Lips" by Kimya Dawson]
so if you wanna burn yourself remember that I love you
and if you wanna cut yourself remember that I love you
and if you wanna kill yourself remember that I love you
call me up before your dead, we can make some plans instead
send me an IM, I'll be your friend
Love, Abby
[Courtesy of "Loose Lips" by Kimya Dawson]
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Music soothes my soul.
It's funny how different a song can be from the first time you discover it to the 1,000th play on your iTunes. Music transforms from that initial listen and can change its meaning over time.
For instance, the song "Skeleton Key" by Margot and the Nuclear So-And-So's originally was considered a love song to me. I used to think it was a praise song, written by a guy for a wonderful girl who was always there for him (Just like a skeleton key is the foundational key for a house - she was his foundational girl, always having his back). After listening to the song again and again, I realized the song was really about a girl who was plain and didn't affect him as much as I had dreamed. In the song, the girl basically changed her life and left another man to be with the singer. She attended to him night and day, and yet the singer doesn't even care for her. One verse states, "I miss you less and less every day/ The stream of whiskey's helped to wash you away/ And it's clear to see, you're nothing special/ You're a skeleton key." - What once was considered a special reserved position, that of the skeleton key, is now a worthless title. Being a skeleton key is bland and unimportant.
To hear the song, click below :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzd6MSh9u_w
Some songs, on the other hand, remain the same and cannot be changed, regardless of the meaning or who the song represents. Songs like "Cooler Than Me" by Mike Posner could not be more obvious about its meaning. He essentially spouts off about a girl who thinks she is on a pedestal and should be worshiped. Posner even hits on the fact that she's insecure by the way she adds makeup and wears the hottest clothes. Posner sings, "I got you all figured out/ You need everyone's eyes just to feel seen/ Behind your makeup, nobody knows who you really are/ Who do you think that you are?" Clearly a slam song, there is no way to mess up the interpretation.
I love when certain songs remind me of certain people, and it cracks me up when songs that traditionally are meant to remind me of someone good are actually songs that slam them in the process. I used to think "Linger" by the Cranberries was a love song and it meant so much to me when I was dating someone, and the song isn't celebrating love - it's about a girl who is hurt after losing someone she cares about.
Music reflects the way I feel, and it also helps me deal with some internal struggles. I can't help but think how people misinterpret songs all the time, with unintentional hurt. Danny Bonaduce's then-wife was attempting to be sweet by singing him "Best of You" by the Foo Fighters, when really that song is about a girl sucking the life out of a guy and how the girl is toxic. Hey, she tried. :)
For instance, the song "Skeleton Key" by Margot and the Nuclear So-And-So's originally was considered a love song to me. I used to think it was a praise song, written by a guy for a wonderful girl who was always there for him (Just like a skeleton key is the foundational key for a house - she was his foundational girl, always having his back). After listening to the song again and again, I realized the song was really about a girl who was plain and didn't affect him as much as I had dreamed. In the song, the girl basically changed her life and left another man to be with the singer. She attended to him night and day, and yet the singer doesn't even care for her. One verse states, "I miss you less and less every day/ The stream of whiskey's helped to wash you away/ And it's clear to see, you're nothing special/ You're a skeleton key." - What once was considered a special reserved position, that of the skeleton key, is now a worthless title. Being a skeleton key is bland and unimportant.
To hear the song, click below :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzd6MSh9u_w
Some songs, on the other hand, remain the same and cannot be changed, regardless of the meaning or who the song represents. Songs like "Cooler Than Me" by Mike Posner could not be more obvious about its meaning. He essentially spouts off about a girl who thinks she is on a pedestal and should be worshiped. Posner even hits on the fact that she's insecure by the way she adds makeup and wears the hottest clothes. Posner sings, "I got you all figured out/ You need everyone's eyes just to feel seen/ Behind your makeup, nobody knows who you really are/ Who do you think that you are?" Clearly a slam song, there is no way to mess up the interpretation.
I love when certain songs remind me of certain people, and it cracks me up when songs that traditionally are meant to remind me of someone good are actually songs that slam them in the process. I used to think "Linger" by the Cranberries was a love song and it meant so much to me when I was dating someone, and the song isn't celebrating love - it's about a girl who is hurt after losing someone she cares about.
Music reflects the way I feel, and it also helps me deal with some internal struggles. I can't help but think how people misinterpret songs all the time, with unintentional hurt. Danny Bonaduce's then-wife was attempting to be sweet by singing him "Best of You" by the Foo Fighters, when really that song is about a girl sucking the life out of a guy and how the girl is toxic. Hey, she tried. :)
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Nashville, TN
So, here I am in Nashville, TN visiting my pal Erica (http://thewanderingyellow.tumblr.com/). She's been here all summer working for a talent artist representative management company for her internship. Since she needed some help moving back her stuff to Virginia, I decided to visit for a mini-vacation and get out of VA.Yesterday, we actually ran into a bunch of car trouble with Erica's vehicle. We went in for an oil change and instead had over $800 in issues with her car (from brake pads to tire bearings)! So after three hours of sitting in the waiting area (while watching Jerry Springer and Maury -- DNA Testing results! Yes!), we finally got her car back and functional.
Last night, we visited a restaurant called Jackson's that has cookie dough egg rolls. We tried the dessert (and I tried some tacos del mar - yummy!) and hung with her friend Daniel. It was nice to see a little bit of the area and to observe the people who lived in Nashville.
After being exhausted from driving yesterday and seeing some of the sights, we both went to sleep very easily. Thankfully we went to sleep early, because we had an 8:15am wake up call this morning to visit Pancake Pantry (apparently it's a big touristy spot and celebrities go there).
Above, you see the line out of the door - We only waited about 15 minutes (and we were at the doors when we started to stand in line) and I'm thankful we didn't have to wait very long. At one point while we were eating, the line was around the corner! The wait was worth it though - the breakfast was delicious!
I got chocolate chip pancakes (my sister will not be surprised by that, haha) and Erica got a raspberry waffle. Her friend Mike got a ham omelet with buttermilk pancakes on the side. And delicious coffee for him and me!
After a filling breakfast, we walked and shopped at a couple stores along the same street as Pancake Pantry. I got the most amazing beaded belt from a store called Pangaea. I am super pumped to wear it with the majority of my outfits.
Then, a quick stop to Centennial Park to visit the Parthenon and some weeping willow trees. But it's so hot that we couldn't stand it outside for long! It's about 105 degrees now... yikes!
Who knows what we'll be doing for the rest of the night... once it cools off, we'll be hitting the streets again! :)
Last night, we visited a restaurant called Jackson's that has cookie dough egg rolls. We tried the dessert (and I tried some tacos del mar - yummy!) and hung with her friend Daniel. It was nice to see a little bit of the area and to observe the people who lived in Nashville.
After being exhausted from driving yesterday and seeing some of the sights, we both went to sleep very easily. Thankfully we went to sleep early, because we had an 8:15am wake up call this morning to visit Pancake Pantry (apparently it's a big touristy spot and celebrities go there).
Above, you see the line out of the door - We only waited about 15 minutes (and we were at the doors when we started to stand in line) and I'm thankful we didn't have to wait very long. At one point while we were eating, the line was around the corner! The wait was worth it though - the breakfast was delicious!
I got chocolate chip pancakes (my sister will not be surprised by that, haha) and Erica got a raspberry waffle. Her friend Mike got a ham omelet with buttermilk pancakes on the side. And delicious coffee for him and me!After a filling breakfast, we walked and shopped at a couple stores along the same street as Pancake Pantry. I got the most amazing beaded belt from a store called Pangaea. I am super pumped to wear it with the majority of my outfits.
Then, a quick stop to Centennial Park to visit the Parthenon and some weeping willow trees. But it's so hot that we couldn't stand it outside for long! It's about 105 degrees now... yikes!
Who knows what we'll be doing for the rest of the night... once it cools off, we'll be hitting the streets again! :)
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Harold and the Purple Crayon
I have many different purple pens. I love them. Not because of the color of the pens, or the feel of the pens in my hand, but I think that the reason lies in one of my favorite childhood books, "Harold and the Purple Crayon." 
For some reason, no one my age has heard of "Harold and the Purple Crayon," which just breaks my heart. It's such an imaginative book, and all of the control rests in Harold's tiny hands.
To those who haven't read the book, it's such a simple read (it might not even have words in it - heck, I don't remember) yet it unlocks the imagination and creativity in your mind.
In a completely unrelated topic, last night I had a long conversation with a good friend. He had many intuitive statements to make about my demeanor, one of which I never really noticed until he pointed it out. When I discuss something that is angering or upsetting to me, I usually smirk or smile during the entire conversation. My friend said it was because I want to see the optimistic side of the situation, but in my heart, I feel like the reason I smile is because I don't want to appear weak. Not that I laugh whenever disaster strikes, but when I'm retelling a story of hurt friendships or troubling situations, I can't help but think about how ridiculous my situations are and I just smile. Instead of getting upset, I smile. I'm still trying to figure out what that really means for me.
I've got to start paying more attention to my facial expressions.
For some reason, no one my age has heard of "Harold and the Purple Crayon," which just breaks my heart. It's such an imaginative book, and all of the control rests in Harold's tiny hands.To those who haven't read the book, it's such a simple read (it might not even have words in it - heck, I don't remember) yet it unlocks the imagination and creativity in your mind.
In a completely unrelated topic, last night I had a long conversation with a good friend. He had many intuitive statements to make about my demeanor, one of which I never really noticed until he pointed it out. When I discuss something that is angering or upsetting to me, I usually smirk or smile during the entire conversation. My friend said it was because I want to see the optimistic side of the situation, but in my heart, I feel like the reason I smile is because I don't want to appear weak. Not that I laugh whenever disaster strikes, but when I'm retelling a story of hurt friendships or troubling situations, I can't help but think about how ridiculous my situations are and I just smile. Instead of getting upset, I smile. I'm still trying to figure out what that really means for me.
I've got to start paying more attention to my facial expressions.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Looking Back
Looking back at old diary entries are both therapeutic and embarrassing. I feel so stupid when I see how ridiculous my emotions were in the past (in the recent and not-so-recent). How could I be so foolish? I realize I am young, and that I have so much more to learn, but when I see how I felt about boys, relationships, interests, I figured I had moved out of high school. But according to my words on pages, my emotional maturity is still stuck in the awkward stages between freshman and senior year of high school.
It's time to graduate.
It's time to graduate.
Detox.
"Enough is enough. It's liquidation time." - Rob Dyrdek, Rob&Big: Season 1
I feel like my body needs its' own liquidation cycle for the next couple of weeks. I'm strongly considering just eating raw foods for the next week or two before school starts. I feel like my body is full of junk, and I keep feeding it the worst food humanly possible. Last night, I ate some twisted chips (the equivalent of two whole potatoes fried to perfection) and I laid in bed last night regretting even the thought of eating those chips.
The raw diet seems to be a hip new fad in bigger cities, with restaurant dedicated to cooking food without actually using heat. As a vegetarian, that means my options are slightly limited, but if I saute vegetables such as eggplant rounds or portabello mushrooms, I think my body would thank me for that versus eating fried foods that I eat at least twice a week.
My body just feels sluggish, and my walks that I usually do feel like they're much more work. As recently as a month ago, I was paying attention to portion sizes, really evaluating what I put into my body each day, and somehow I went off the handle and bought terrible foods that I normally never eat.
A walk will be in order tomorrow (as I have a double at work today) - maybe I'll even run since it's been two whole weeks (eek!).
I feel like my body needs its' own liquidation cycle for the next couple of weeks. I'm strongly considering just eating raw foods for the next week or two before school starts. I feel like my body is full of junk, and I keep feeding it the worst food humanly possible. Last night, I ate some twisted chips (the equivalent of two whole potatoes fried to perfection) and I laid in bed last night regretting even the thought of eating those chips.
The raw diet seems to be a hip new fad in bigger cities, with restaurant dedicated to cooking food without actually using heat. As a vegetarian, that means my options are slightly limited, but if I saute vegetables such as eggplant rounds or portabello mushrooms, I think my body would thank me for that versus eating fried foods that I eat at least twice a week.
My body just feels sluggish, and my walks that I usually do feel like they're much more work. As recently as a month ago, I was paying attention to portion sizes, really evaluating what I put into my body each day, and somehow I went off the handle and bought terrible foods that I normally never eat.
A walk will be in order tomorrow (as I have a double at work today) - maybe I'll even run since it's been two whole weeks (eek!).
Friday, August 6, 2010
What College Is All About
I was talking to a friend I've had since high school on the phone today, and we were discussing boys and their annoyances. During this conversation, I realized that college boils down to two major things: narcissism and hedonism.
This may seem a bit harsh, but if you think about it, it applies to about 90 percent of the people who go to college in the first place. Narcissism, which is another word for egoism or "self-interest is the actual motive of all conscious action" (according to Merriam-Webster Online), is evident in all college students to a point. The entire reasoning behind going to college is for selfish reasoning - to place ahead of others in the workforce, or to learn a trade or skill that made you a better asset to a company. Many students these days think about what they want to do. According to the ways of the world, college is partially about experimentation and finding out who you are or what you believe in. It's the first time for us as people to be on our own, and we have to survive in a world where we depend on only ourselves. It thus creates a narcissistic "Think For Yourself" attitude. While I wouldn't say all narcissism is bad, since certain friends could be using you, or you could be duped out of a monetary scheme, it is still the brainchild that creates terrible products of students who are really egotistical all the time. They are Kanye West, without the money or the status. And being in college only furthered that thought process, not diminishing it before it went out of control.
Also in college, students find themselves stuck at a moral turning point, where they must think for themselves about what is right and what is not. Going back to the experimentation of college, hedonism plays a big role in how we become who we are. The idea of hedonism, that is "pleasure or happiness is the sole or chief good in life," basically says "Whatever makes you feel good is what you should do." So many college students believe that in this stage of their lives, because no one can tell them no. Every college student tastes life on the wild side, whether that be binge drinking or one-night stands, to the innocent breaking of curfew or staying up all night before a class the next day. It is hedonism that leads us to the majority of what we do in college.
Both narcissism and hedonism are not viewed as positive things, so why has college created these particular personality outcomes? College forces you to think about yourself first and foremost. You have to think about protecting yourself, how to get yourself ahead, and how to break apart from the crowd. But you also have to think about what is right and wrong, according to you, regardless of what your parents/religion/friends tell you to. To decide to follow a religion is your choice. To decide to drink is your choice. To decide to follow all of the rules given to you is a choice. College is all about choosing what is best for you (in your not-so-humble opinion, at times).
Is there any way to combat this symptom of big egos and complete pleasure-seekers?
This may seem a bit harsh, but if you think about it, it applies to about 90 percent of the people who go to college in the first place. Narcissism, which is another word for egoism or "self-interest is the actual motive of all conscious action" (according to Merriam-Webster Online), is evident in all college students to a point. The entire reasoning behind going to college is for selfish reasoning - to place ahead of others in the workforce, or to learn a trade or skill that made you a better asset to a company. Many students these days think about what they want to do. According to the ways of the world, college is partially about experimentation and finding out who you are or what you believe in. It's the first time for us as people to be on our own, and we have to survive in a world where we depend on only ourselves. It thus creates a narcissistic "Think For Yourself" attitude. While I wouldn't say all narcissism is bad, since certain friends could be using you, or you could be duped out of a monetary scheme, it is still the brainchild that creates terrible products of students who are really egotistical all the time. They are Kanye West, without the money or the status. And being in college only furthered that thought process, not diminishing it before it went out of control.
Also in college, students find themselves stuck at a moral turning point, where they must think for themselves about what is right and what is not. Going back to the experimentation of college, hedonism plays a big role in how we become who we are. The idea of hedonism, that is "pleasure or happiness is the sole or chief good in life," basically says "Whatever makes you feel good is what you should do." So many college students believe that in this stage of their lives, because no one can tell them no. Every college student tastes life on the wild side, whether that be binge drinking or one-night stands, to the innocent breaking of curfew or staying up all night before a class the next day. It is hedonism that leads us to the majority of what we do in college.
Both narcissism and hedonism are not viewed as positive things, so why has college created these particular personality outcomes? College forces you to think about yourself first and foremost. You have to think about protecting yourself, how to get yourself ahead, and how to break apart from the crowd. But you also have to think about what is right and wrong, according to you, regardless of what your parents/religion/friends tell you to. To decide to follow a religion is your choice. To decide to drink is your choice. To decide to follow all of the rules given to you is a choice. College is all about choosing what is best for you (in your not-so-humble opinion, at times).
Is there any way to combat this symptom of big egos and complete pleasure-seekers?
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Stuffed.
The weather is so fickle sometimes. It was hotter than blazes earlier outside, with my feet burning every time they touched the cement, and I spent over an hour in the pool. Then I was laying out, drying my bathing suit naturally before going inside, and one of the apartment employees came out and said, "Big storm's coming!" Behind me, a rushing dark cloud was heading directly toward me. I don't think I've ever gotten my stuff together so quickly.
Fast-forward through massive storms, thunder that shook my apartment, lightning that seemed like it was an inch away from my windows, and a couple of power outages. They say, "Necessity is indeed the mother of invention," and as such, my roommate made macaroni and cheese from scratch. It was super delicious...yet super filling. I don't think I could eat another ounce of food for the next day.
Tonight, we'll be playing poker. Me and the boys. I'm excited that my life is actually turning out like a real-life "My Boys" episode. In case you've never heard of "My Boys," it's an amazing TV show on TBS (every Sunday at 10pm, by the way...) that's now in it's fourth season. It's basically from the point of view of one female sports writer who is always surrounded by her four best guy friends.
(L-R: "My Boys" characters Brandon, Mike, Kenny, and PJ)
Now, I don't mean to brag, but my guy friends kind of rock. :)
Well, I'm off to clean the rest of the house before the guys get here. See you all tomorrow!
Fast-forward through massive storms, thunder that shook my apartment, lightning that seemed like it was an inch away from my windows, and a couple of power outages. They say, "Necessity is indeed the mother of invention," and as such, my roommate made macaroni and cheese from scratch. It was super delicious...yet super filling. I don't think I could eat another ounce of food for the next day.
Tonight, we'll be playing poker. Me and the boys. I'm excited that my life is actually turning out like a real-life "My Boys" episode. In case you've never heard of "My Boys," it's an amazing TV show on TBS (every Sunday at 10pm, by the way...) that's now in it's fourth season. It's basically from the point of view of one female sports writer who is always surrounded by her four best guy friends.
(L-R: "My Boys" characters Brandon, Mike, Kenny, and PJ)Now, I don't mean to brag, but my guy friends kind of rock. :)
Well, I'm off to clean the rest of the house before the guys get here. See you all tomorrow!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Spiced.
Rather than rant about my feelings, I wanted to gush about one of my favorite reads from the summer: Spiced by Dalia Jurgensen.
It's a great memoir about a girl who didn't know what she wanted in life, had a normal 9-5 desk job, and then gave it all up to trail for a pastry chef in one of New York City's hottest restaurants. Knowing nothing, and not having been to culinary school yet, she started a new adventure for herself. It has raw truth to the story, with a realistic aspect of how things really are in the kitchen of a high-class restaurant.
This book has been the fastest I've plowed through in a long time. There is still a little less than half of the book left, but it is such a quick read for me that I cannot read just one chapter at a time.
I hope to finish this book in the next couple of days before I road trip to Nashville to visit my pal Erica. I've never been to Nashville before, so I hope it'll be an adventure full of memories (which always occur with Erica, so I'm not worried). :) Short-term goal: finish the book before Monday morning, then start a new book (most likely Laura & Lisa Ling's memoir about being granted amnesty from North Korea last summer) once I return.
If anyone wants to borrow "Spiced" when I'm finished with it, feel free to ask! :)
It's a great memoir about a girl who didn't know what she wanted in life, had a normal 9-5 desk job, and then gave it all up to trail for a pastry chef in one of New York City's hottest restaurants. Knowing nothing, and not having been to culinary school yet, she started a new adventure for herself. It has raw truth to the story, with a realistic aspect of how things really are in the kitchen of a high-class restaurant.
This book has been the fastest I've plowed through in a long time. There is still a little less than half of the book left, but it is such a quick read for me that I cannot read just one chapter at a time.
I hope to finish this book in the next couple of days before I road trip to Nashville to visit my pal Erica. I've never been to Nashville before, so I hope it'll be an adventure full of memories (which always occur with Erica, so I'm not worried). :) Short-term goal: finish the book before Monday morning, then start a new book (most likely Laura & Lisa Ling's memoir about being granted amnesty from North Korea last summer) once I return.
If anyone wants to borrow "Spiced" when I'm finished with it, feel free to ask! :)
Monday, August 2, 2010
Lost.
I just had a conversation with my father about my future.
"It sounds like you're inspired," my dad said.
In all actuality, I feel the furthest from inspired. Instead, I feel the most unprepared that I could ever be. In the next coming months, everything about my life will be changing - from friends to housing to occupation. I know every nearly-college grad goes through this, but that doesn't make it any easier.
I haven't felt very confident in my writing skills for the past year. I don't think I'm a very good writer, truly. I feel like I have grand ideas but when I sit to think about my writing point of view, I have no idea what makes my writing style different than anyone else.
In the fall, I will be the editorial editor and although I know I have good copy-editing skills, it seems weird to think that I'll be the one giving advice on how to write well. How will I be able to refine someone's skills when I cannot even identify the problems with my own? It isn't very comforting to know that I don't have any faith or confidence in the one thing I am getting my college degree in.
I need to figure out what makes my writing tick, and also why other people should care about what I have to say. Yes, I know my take on certain issues are important, but what will make people actually care?
This is way too overwhelming for me to think about. As usual, I need to stop thinking so much about the future and everything else that goes into it, but rather think of the day-to-day. I can only affect what happens today, not tomorrow.
Mom thinks I should look into food writing. Perhaps I should just hide from the real world by joining a culinary school?
I feel like it has been so long since I have written. I need to get the creative juices flowing again. It is that time of the year again - time to actually make my brain think.
"It sounds like you're inspired," my dad said.
In all actuality, I feel the furthest from inspired. Instead, I feel the most unprepared that I could ever be. In the next coming months, everything about my life will be changing - from friends to housing to occupation. I know every nearly-college grad goes through this, but that doesn't make it any easier.
I haven't felt very confident in my writing skills for the past year. I don't think I'm a very good writer, truly. I feel like I have grand ideas but when I sit to think about my writing point of view, I have no idea what makes my writing style different than anyone else.
In the fall, I will be the editorial editor and although I know I have good copy-editing skills, it seems weird to think that I'll be the one giving advice on how to write well. How will I be able to refine someone's skills when I cannot even identify the problems with my own? It isn't very comforting to know that I don't have any faith or confidence in the one thing I am getting my college degree in.
I need to figure out what makes my writing tick, and also why other people should care about what I have to say. Yes, I know my take on certain issues are important, but what will make people actually care?
This is way too overwhelming for me to think about. As usual, I need to stop thinking so much about the future and everything else that goes into it, but rather think of the day-to-day. I can only affect what happens today, not tomorrow.
Mom thinks I should look into food writing. Perhaps I should just hide from the real world by joining a culinary school?
I feel like it has been so long since I have written. I need to get the creative juices flowing again. It is that time of the year again - time to actually make my brain think.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Baffled.
I am baffled. Completely baffled.
::deep sigh::
I think it's time for some Ingrid Michaelson, and for me to cry and let some emotional baggage out.
::deep sigh::
I think it's time for some Ingrid Michaelson, and for me to cry and let some emotional baggage out.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Cover Letters Are Hard Work
"You have one page to sell yourself. Annnnnnnnnnd GO!"
Yeah, that's not a lot of pressure. Not. How can you combine your life, your skills, your talents and your charm into one nutshell of a letter? This is what is asked of all journalism students as they apply for jobs. Talk about why YOU are so great. Discuss everything that sets YOU apart from everyone else. There are a lot of expectations with that simple letter, and I feel like no matter what I write, I sound like an idiot. Or I can't transpose who I am into one page. I'm not a fan of this cover letter crap. If I were a hiring manager, I would look at just a resume and clips. A girl can dream, right?
P.S. The job market is still looming over my head, and usually in the form of a sad overcast cloud wave. No bright horizons ahead. I am really excited to move into the next stage of my life, provided I have a job.
So only 5 months and counting! Oh, gosh. Someone get me a paper bag so I can inhale deeply.
Yeah, that's not a lot of pressure. Not. How can you combine your life, your skills, your talents and your charm into one nutshell of a letter? This is what is asked of all journalism students as they apply for jobs. Talk about why YOU are so great. Discuss everything that sets YOU apart from everyone else. There are a lot of expectations with that simple letter, and I feel like no matter what I write, I sound like an idiot. Or I can't transpose who I am into one page. I'm not a fan of this cover letter crap. If I were a hiring manager, I would look at just a resume and clips. A girl can dream, right?
P.S. The job market is still looming over my head, and usually in the form of a sad overcast cloud wave. No bright horizons ahead. I am really excited to move into the next stage of my life, provided I have a job.
So only 5 months and counting! Oh, gosh. Someone get me a paper bag so I can inhale deeply.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
25 Things About Me... Kinda.
This is going to be more of a list than a traditional blog post, I believe. I want to just discuss things with myself out loud, as well as hearing other people's point of views.
So I've been trying to determine who I am lately. Here's (so far) what I've figured out:
- I am 22 years old.
- I am a journalism major with a minor in intercultural studies.
- My favorite color has been, is, and always will be, jungle green. It's featured in the Crayola 64 pack.
- I love music. It always improves my mood.
- Walking makes me feel accomplished, even if it's just for 10 minutes each day.
- Reading opens up a part of my imagination I thought I had lost when I turned 18.
- I love my sister and brother. They understand everything I've gone through, even if it's not exactly the same situation.
- God is so wise. I have to remind myself of that.
- I need to remember to soak in the moments that usually pass me by. When I'm hanging out with friends, I need to pay close attention so I can savor the moment for years to come.
- I love the beauty of cinematography. It can make me weep it's so good.
- Writing helps me clear my head. Usually I can't write to actually form a solid thought, but it at least gets my creativity going.
- I wish I had a piano. Playing piano makes me feel like I at least have control over something. I can guide my hands to play something so beautiful.
- Life is so simple. Why can't others understand that?
- Nothing matters more than relationships. Relationships is what makes the world go 'round. I think everyone could improve their lives if they took a step back to look at how they treat their important relationships in their lives.
- I have no idea what I am politically. Yes, I am conservative. Yes, I am liberal. Yes, I do love the environment. But no, I don't want marriage between gay people. Yes, I am against abortion. But no, I don't love the right to bare arms. All in all, I just want people to love one another, banish big businesses, and to look for alternate energy sources - is that so hard?
- I totally should have been a hippie in the 60's and 70's. I would have still thrived in that era; I believe that in my heart.
- I am completely fine being alone.
- I know I put out a strong self-image.
- And I like it.
Welp. That is me. For now. :)
So I've been trying to determine who I am lately. Here's (so far) what I've figured out:
- I am 22 years old.
- I am a journalism major with a minor in intercultural studies.
- My favorite color has been, is, and always will be, jungle green. It's featured in the Crayola 64 pack.
- I love music. It always improves my mood.
- Walking makes me feel accomplished, even if it's just for 10 minutes each day.
- Reading opens up a part of my imagination I thought I had lost when I turned 18.
- I love my sister and brother. They understand everything I've gone through, even if it's not exactly the same situation.
- God is so wise. I have to remind myself of that.
- I need to remember to soak in the moments that usually pass me by. When I'm hanging out with friends, I need to pay close attention so I can savor the moment for years to come.
- I love the beauty of cinematography. It can make me weep it's so good.
- Writing helps me clear my head. Usually I can't write to actually form a solid thought, but it at least gets my creativity going.
- I wish I had a piano. Playing piano makes me feel like I at least have control over something. I can guide my hands to play something so beautiful.
- Life is so simple. Why can't others understand that?
- Nothing matters more than relationships. Relationships is what makes the world go 'round. I think everyone could improve their lives if they took a step back to look at how they treat their important relationships in their lives.
- I have no idea what I am politically. Yes, I am conservative. Yes, I am liberal. Yes, I do love the environment. But no, I don't want marriage between gay people. Yes, I am against abortion. But no, I don't love the right to bare arms. All in all, I just want people to love one another, banish big businesses, and to look for alternate energy sources - is that so hard?
- I totally should have been a hippie in the 60's and 70's. I would have still thrived in that era; I believe that in my heart.
- I am completely fine being alone.
- I know I put out a strong self-image.
- And I like it.
Welp. That is me. For now. :)
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Dear Abby, Where Have You Been?
It's been a while since I've written. I've been through ups and downs lately, and I have attempted to write a message or two on here, only to delete it halfway through. I haven't been able to eloquently say what I have wanted to.
Recently, I have learned a lot about myself. I went through a roller-coaster relationship, ended in heartache, and found myself in a position in which I did not understand who I was or what I even enjoy. Finding what I was interested in has been a somewhat scary discovery, to a point. To have to question what I find enjoyable when I am a 22-year-old seems like the biggest cliche in the book, but it is nerve-wracking to think that I don't even know myself anymore.
When I was with my boyfriend, I was forced to debate with myself about moral issues and what I wanted in my future (immediate and long-term). It was fun to wrestle with myself to really dig deep into what I believe what I believe, but at the end of the day, I don't like feeling like I am on shaky moral ground. If I need anything, it is a strong foundation for what I believe in.
So as I was saying, since breaking up with the boyfriend, and ultimately arguing over more things since the break-up, I started a new life program for myself where I walk at least once a day, for at least 15 minutes. Sometimes I listen to music, sometimes I listen to podcasts, sometimes I walk and talk with friends. Since beginning this regimen, this is what I have discovered:
-I have discovered that I like to de-stress by walking or running if I get frustrated by someone.
-I have also discovered that getting a walk "out of the way" earlier in the day makes me feel like I have accomplished a ton.
-I now recognize the importance of leaving my cell phone for hours on end. It feels freeing, especially with our generation being so tied down to technology (...as I write a blog on the Internet...).
-I appreciate the fresh air, and I appreciate spending time alone. It is that time where no one else is allowed in my thought process.
-I can think about my life and how I feel I am as a person. I can reflect over my actions and my close relationships in a way I really couldn't before.
It would be sad to say that I am thankful for the break-up, because it was hands-down the hardest relationship I've ever had to given up, but knowing what I know now, I see myself in a completely different light. I know what strengths and weaknesses I have to a deeper degree than ever before.
Tomorrow (heck, maybe even later tonight), I will write out who I am. In this crazy world we live in, it is important to take a step back and think "Who am I and what do I truly care about? What makes me itch inside, and what makes me extremely happy?". It is still an ongoing journey, but what I have discovered so far has made me thrilled. Learning about myself on such a deep level is something I appreciate more than I thought I could.
Recently, I have learned a lot about myself. I went through a roller-coaster relationship, ended in heartache, and found myself in a position in which I did not understand who I was or what I even enjoy. Finding what I was interested in has been a somewhat scary discovery, to a point. To have to question what I find enjoyable when I am a 22-year-old seems like the biggest cliche in the book, but it is nerve-wracking to think that I don't even know myself anymore.
When I was with my boyfriend, I was forced to debate with myself about moral issues and what I wanted in my future (immediate and long-term). It was fun to wrestle with myself to really dig deep into what I believe what I believe, but at the end of the day, I don't like feeling like I am on shaky moral ground. If I need anything, it is a strong foundation for what I believe in.
So as I was saying, since breaking up with the boyfriend, and ultimately arguing over more things since the break-up, I started a new life program for myself where I walk at least once a day, for at least 15 minutes. Sometimes I listen to music, sometimes I listen to podcasts, sometimes I walk and talk with friends. Since beginning this regimen, this is what I have discovered:
-I have discovered that I like to de-stress by walking or running if I get frustrated by someone.
-I have also discovered that getting a walk "out of the way" earlier in the day makes me feel like I have accomplished a ton.
-I now recognize the importance of leaving my cell phone for hours on end. It feels freeing, especially with our generation being so tied down to technology (...as I write a blog on the Internet...).
-I appreciate the fresh air, and I appreciate spending time alone. It is that time where no one else is allowed in my thought process.
-I can think about my life and how I feel I am as a person. I can reflect over my actions and my close relationships in a way I really couldn't before.
It would be sad to say that I am thankful for the break-up, because it was hands-down the hardest relationship I've ever had to given up, but knowing what I know now, I see myself in a completely different light. I know what strengths and weaknesses I have to a deeper degree than ever before.
Tomorrow (heck, maybe even later tonight), I will write out who I am. In this crazy world we live in, it is important to take a step back and think "Who am I and what do I truly care about? What makes me itch inside, and what makes me extremely happy?". It is still an ongoing journey, but what I have discovered so far has made me thrilled. Learning about myself on such a deep level is something I appreciate more than I thought I could.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Just a quickie...
This is just a quick update, but I recently had the idea of doing a "Reader's Retreat" where I put reading as my main focus for a weekend, and I did that this weekend, and honestly, I wish there were more hours in the day so I could read more. I am currently reading "The Solitude of Prime Numbers" by Paulo Giordano, which was highly recommended by People, Entertainment Weekly, Rolling Stone, etc. It's short chapters, but has a deep description behind the characters, which I love. The book is not heavy on description, rather the author gives many detailed traits behind the character and their personality so that the reader can fully get to know the character themselves.
Anyhow, point is, regardless of how crazy this week is (and it will be CRAZY, I already know), another Reader's Retreat will happen this upcoming weekend...and I can't wait. :)
Is anyone else reading something good? Please let me know! I always love hearing of good recommendations or trades for books. Have a great week!
Anyhow, point is, regardless of how crazy this week is (and it will be CRAZY, I already know), another Reader's Retreat will happen this upcoming weekend...and I can't wait. :)
Is anyone else reading something good? Please let me know! I always love hearing of good recommendations or trades for books. Have a great week!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Music makes the people.
Recently, I've been thinking about my past in music - piano lessons, band concerts, drum circles - and how this affected me as a person. Honestly, music makes me feel alive. It continues to be a huge aspect of my life, and lately, I've been dependent on it.
It's no secret that I listen to oldies radio on my way to school, and I thrive off of it. The 60's and 70's music mentality is so laid-back, and I think that helps me, especially during my spouts of road rage. Last night, I binged by listening to all music from the 70's including James Taylor, Simon and Garfunkel, the Beatles, etc. In my head, music is such an escape and relieves my tension from the day's stresses. I come alive to words and phrases in the musicality of the song. Don't ask me why, but music just helps me feel more connected to the world in general. Everything is better with music.
Sorry I've neglected my blog for so long - It's been a busy time, and I didn't make writing a priority (unless it was necessary in class assignments, of course).
On a completely other tangent, Barack Obama, I've got a bone to pick with you.
According to Obama, troops will be pulled out in 2011 from the infamous War on Terror, and yet, two of my friends are going overseas in the next year or two. One of them isn't being sent over until September 2011! What is up with that? I understand there has to be a military presence overseas, but one of my friends from the RESERVE is going to the front lines - This doesn't give me any hope for the end of our fighting anytime soon. My friend (an army wife) said it is hard to deal with the news that her husband will be sent to Afghanistan, but for him, it would be like a job incomplete unless he went to the Middle East and fought, and I had never thought of it that way. With all of that training, it makes sense that he would want to defend his country on foreign soil or else why be a member of the U.S. Army anyway?
It will be sad to hear when my friends do go over, and I have many other friends who are serving overseas now. I will personally never understand war, and that's okay with me. I don't want to understand it, when I had a friend of mine (a Marine) say, "You don't know what you're shooting at - you're just pulling a trigger." You know exactly what the consequence is for fighting in foreign lands; do not blame ignorance, when you know you've got to be shooting your gun at people. It's a complicated thing, war. I'll be happy when it's over.
Well, I thought this blog would be way better than what it is...but oh well. I'll improve it later. :)
It's no secret that I listen to oldies radio on my way to school, and I thrive off of it. The 60's and 70's music mentality is so laid-back, and I think that helps me, especially during my spouts of road rage. Last night, I binged by listening to all music from the 70's including James Taylor, Simon and Garfunkel, the Beatles, etc. In my head, music is such an escape and relieves my tension from the day's stresses. I come alive to words and phrases in the musicality of the song. Don't ask me why, but music just helps me feel more connected to the world in general. Everything is better with music.
Sorry I've neglected my blog for so long - It's been a busy time, and I didn't make writing a priority (unless it was necessary in class assignments, of course).
On a completely other tangent, Barack Obama, I've got a bone to pick with you.
According to Obama, troops will be pulled out in 2011 from the infamous War on Terror, and yet, two of my friends are going overseas in the next year or two. One of them isn't being sent over until September 2011! What is up with that? I understand there has to be a military presence overseas, but one of my friends from the RESERVE is going to the front lines - This doesn't give me any hope for the end of our fighting anytime soon. My friend (an army wife) said it is hard to deal with the news that her husband will be sent to Afghanistan, but for him, it would be like a job incomplete unless he went to the Middle East and fought, and I had never thought of it that way. With all of that training, it makes sense that he would want to defend his country on foreign soil or else why be a member of the U.S. Army anyway?
It will be sad to hear when my friends do go over, and I have many other friends who are serving overseas now. I will personally never understand war, and that's okay with me. I don't want to understand it, when I had a friend of mine (a Marine) say, "You don't know what you're shooting at - you're just pulling a trigger." You know exactly what the consequence is for fighting in foreign lands; do not blame ignorance, when you know you've got to be shooting your gun at people. It's a complicated thing, war. I'll be happy when it's over.
Well, I thought this blog would be way better than what it is...but oh well. I'll improve it later. :)
Monday, March 8, 2010
Uganda Mass Murder.
I should be working on homework, but I am compelled to write something out...
My friend Katie (She wrote on my blog about capital punishment if you remember) wrote an article about the recent Uganda bill where homosexuals will be given the death sentence if they are found positive with HIV or AIDS. Katie said this article was revolting, as it is killing people simply for having AIDS. It is so shocking to see how people are responded to the article. One woman wrote that it was all about "population control" and how it is completely worthy for homosexuals to die in this way because of "what they did." Another 17-year-old man wrote that homosexuals get what they deserve as they are already receiving a death sentence with the disease, so why not just prosecute them now?
Also, people are saying that if you are in support of overthrowing this bill, you "clearly" cannot be a Christian... I don't really understand this argument. There is a fine line between disliking homosexuality and preserving the right to life in this case -- Just because people are practicing in homosexual acts, which are against God, it is also against God to say that homosexuals are GETTING WHAT THEY DESERVE by receiving the death sentence. How are we as Christians loving others by saying "it's okay for you to die, because of what you did?" What does that remind you of... perhaps the crucifixion? Because of what WE as SINNERS do, we should receive the death sentence...but guess what, Jesus Christ took care of that. We no longer have that death sentence upon us because of what we do every day. And if all sin is supposed to be wagered as the same, then how can we say that homosexuality is worthy of the death sentence, but my stealing something from a grocery store isn't?
I understand why some may be frustrated with "allowing" homosexuals to live (if you really want to see it that way), but honestly, we should be more fired up about the fact that people are dying because they received a virus. So anyone who has cancer should die as well? They're going to die anyway, right? That's the same kind of logic people are using to support the Uganda bill.
Really examine your life and God's word before you take a stance on such a monumental issue. For all the pro-life rallies that Christians attend, it is SHOCKING to me that some of God's people are against keeping people alive in Uganda, simply because they have a defect. Those who share that mentality would have fit in around Germany in the 1930's...
My friend Katie (She wrote on my blog about capital punishment if you remember) wrote an article about the recent Uganda bill where homosexuals will be given the death sentence if they are found positive with HIV or AIDS. Katie said this article was revolting, as it is killing people simply for having AIDS. It is so shocking to see how people are responded to the article. One woman wrote that it was all about "population control" and how it is completely worthy for homosexuals to die in this way because of "what they did." Another 17-year-old man wrote that homosexuals get what they deserve as they are already receiving a death sentence with the disease, so why not just prosecute them now?
Also, people are saying that if you are in support of overthrowing this bill, you "clearly" cannot be a Christian... I don't really understand this argument. There is a fine line between disliking homosexuality and preserving the right to life in this case -- Just because people are practicing in homosexual acts, which are against God, it is also against God to say that homosexuals are GETTING WHAT THEY DESERVE by receiving the death sentence. How are we as Christians loving others by saying "it's okay for you to die, because of what you did?" What does that remind you of... perhaps the crucifixion? Because of what WE as SINNERS do, we should receive the death sentence...but guess what, Jesus Christ took care of that. We no longer have that death sentence upon us because of what we do every day. And if all sin is supposed to be wagered as the same, then how can we say that homosexuality is worthy of the death sentence, but my stealing something from a grocery store isn't?
I understand why some may be frustrated with "allowing" homosexuals to live (if you really want to see it that way), but honestly, we should be more fired up about the fact that people are dying because they received a virus. So anyone who has cancer should die as well? They're going to die anyway, right? That's the same kind of logic people are using to support the Uganda bill.
Really examine your life and God's word before you take a stance on such a monumental issue. For all the pro-life rallies that Christians attend, it is SHOCKING to me that some of God's people are against keeping people alive in Uganda, simply because they have a defect. Those who share that mentality would have fit in around Germany in the 1930's...
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Blogging fail.
My alarm went off at 7:50 a.m., and of course, I didn't get up. I was too tired, and my body ached from working out yesterday. After going back to sleep, I had such a realistic nightmare included people from my past that I didn't want in my life anymore. It was pretty...scary and realistic. How someone in real life could infiltrate my dreams is always a mystery.
I've been doing homework all weekend, and of course there is tons more to do tonight before the Oscars. Once it turns about 7 p.m. or 7:30, I'll be glued to the TV to see everyone's dresses and their acceptance speeches. I can't wait! :)
Short post. I had a lot more in mind of what to say, but now... well, you see what developed. Haha, blogging fail.
I've been doing homework all weekend, and of course there is tons more to do tonight before the Oscars. Once it turns about 7 p.m. or 7:30, I'll be glued to the TV to see everyone's dresses and their acceptance speeches. I can't wait! :)
Short post. I had a lot more in mind of what to say, but now... well, you see what developed. Haha, blogging fail.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Only one more week till paradise.
It's been too long, blog. I apologize.
Lately, I've been overevaluating everything in my life. I started obsessing over money, my future, where I'm going to move, what I'll do for this summer, where I'll be after I graduate college in December, and then it snowballed even larger from there. I was dying on the inside, with my mind moving faster than I could emotionally process. I called my grandmother, who always knows how to be in a good mood, for advice, and she of course told me to stop worrying over everything, and take it one day at a time. I keep forgetting that advice.
I know that I need to take it one day at a time, and that is how I will be until Spring Break...which starts next week. :) I cannot wait to be in Texas, and with my siblings. I so badly want to be there now, with no homework dictating my life, but of course I am stressed at the moment. With everything I have to do school-wise, I have to focus on that for just one more week before going mad. I wanted to go home this weekend, just to get away from the hustle and bustle, but I have too much to do to travel this weekend unfortunately.
In other news, I have some kind of exciting stuff going on this week - I am turning in an application for the Liberty Champion (which probably doesn't sound exciting, but to me, it is) and today, my friend Erica used me as a model for her photo shoot. She had to take some portraits for a photography class - we took over 100 pictures, and she only needs 15 for class, haha. It was super fun, and I got to show off three different dresses which is always lovely.
I've been reading through the Bible pretty diligently, which is awesome. I read through all of Hosea, then Song of Solomon, and now I'm on to Proverbs. It has been teaching me some really great things, and I can't wait to see what the rest of the massive book of Proverbs has in store.
This weekend, tons of homework must be completed, and planning for the next week will occur at some point... But like my grandmother said, I have to think one day at a time. And I'm okay with that for now. :)
P.S. I went to the gym tonight after two days off, and I am so happy I was able to do a hard work out. I did 45 minutes of cardio, and still did abs, squats, and lunges. I can't complain, and I want to hit the gym again tomorrow. It's wonderful to be addicted to the gym. :)
Lately, I've been overevaluating everything in my life. I started obsessing over money, my future, where I'm going to move, what I'll do for this summer, where I'll be after I graduate college in December, and then it snowballed even larger from there. I was dying on the inside, with my mind moving faster than I could emotionally process. I called my grandmother, who always knows how to be in a good mood, for advice, and she of course told me to stop worrying over everything, and take it one day at a time. I keep forgetting that advice.
I know that I need to take it one day at a time, and that is how I will be until Spring Break...which starts next week. :) I cannot wait to be in Texas, and with my siblings. I so badly want to be there now, with no homework dictating my life, but of course I am stressed at the moment. With everything I have to do school-wise, I have to focus on that for just one more week before going mad. I wanted to go home this weekend, just to get away from the hustle and bustle, but I have too much to do to travel this weekend unfortunately.
In other news, I have some kind of exciting stuff going on this week - I am turning in an application for the Liberty Champion (which probably doesn't sound exciting, but to me, it is) and today, my friend Erica used me as a model for her photo shoot. She had to take some portraits for a photography class - we took over 100 pictures, and she only needs 15 for class, haha. It was super fun, and I got to show off three different dresses which is always lovely.
I've been reading through the Bible pretty diligently, which is awesome. I read through all of Hosea, then Song of Solomon, and now I'm on to Proverbs. It has been teaching me some really great things, and I can't wait to see what the rest of the massive book of Proverbs has in store.
This weekend, tons of homework must be completed, and planning for the next week will occur at some point... But like my grandmother said, I have to think one day at a time. And I'm okay with that for now. :)
P.S. I went to the gym tonight after two days off, and I am so happy I was able to do a hard work out. I did 45 minutes of cardio, and still did abs, squats, and lunges. I can't complain, and I want to hit the gym again tomorrow. It's wonderful to be addicted to the gym. :)
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Song of Solomon
Funny enough, after writing that post last night, I read all about relationships in Song of Solomon. My friend Brennan and I are reading through Song of Solomon together, and the first chapter gives me a good model of what a Godly relationship should be. I cannot wait for feeling the way that the man in vs. 9 does about his wife: "You are as exciting, my darling, as a mare among Pharaoh's stallions." - Yes, this verse is dated, but I just love the passion put behind it.
I appreciate this book in the Bible to explain how true love is supposed to be. <3
I appreciate this book in the Bible to explain how true love is supposed to be. <3
Monday, February 22, 2010
Bookends.
It's funny how love consumes everyone at one time or another.
A friend of mine said that although he is 20, and thinks he is too immature for a serious relationship, cannot wait to be married. He wants to get married as soon as humanly possible, and he can't wait to find that perfect girl to make his wife. And when he first told me, I thought, "Who doesn't want to love and be loved in return? Isn't that what we all want in life?"
Looking back, my longest relationship has been only four months long. Not even half a year. Although the idea of marriage sounds blessedly wonderful, and I cannot wait for this to occur, I don't even think I'm ready for a long-term relationship to begin with. I don't have any idea what a long-term relationship even looks like (other than of course my friends or family). In my life, I'm such a live spark that I think it either wears people out easily, or I'm a bit too crazy for anyone's own good. Not that I'm willing to change everything that I am, but I can't say I blame guys for thinking I'm a bit nutty.
It's bizarre for me to think of myself in a long-term relationship. My roommate said that I'm so free-spirited that she can't see me being tied down, and I completely agree. I want to be someone's support system, and I want to be someone's partner. But I also want to find someone who lets me balance them out (as well as them balance me) and to find that person who dominates me, rather than the other way around.
As I listen to sappy songs such as "Bookends" by Simon and Garfunkel, all about love lost, I realize that I wish I had those experiences to love and be loved in return. There are glimpses, sure, but I can't set glimpses side-by-side and say I've experienced love or something like it. I can't wait to be heartbroken, just for the experience... is that strange? I've experienced the gut wrenching pain of loss from people who have disappointed me before, but nothing on the magnitude of what I imagine losing a loved one is. Many disappoint, and yet no one has even gotten close to capture my heart.
Am I unconquerable? I don't want to say, "This is all my fault," because I do feel that there is a perfect person for everyone, and yet I cast that belief from television shows, movies, plays, poetry. It must be a shed of truth to all of that, right? Even the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet... was true love blind in a magnificent way? They still were married. They shared a married life together, albeit a short one. Surely I can't expect life to be like television/movies/plays/poetry, but I can gather that what I have felt is not anywhere close to what others have felt when in a meaningful relationship.
I'm jealous. I don't want my life to be like the movies, but it would be nice to have that feeling that sappy love songs are really true, even with their cliches. It'd be nice to believe that.
In other news, about 20 days until Spring Break. I'm heading to SXSW to visit my sister, brother-in-law, brother, and his girlfriend. I cannot wait! It shall be glorious. It has to be. It's my last spring break in college, so I have extremely high expectations. :)
A friend of mine said that although he is 20, and thinks he is too immature for a serious relationship, cannot wait to be married. He wants to get married as soon as humanly possible, and he can't wait to find that perfect girl to make his wife. And when he first told me, I thought, "Who doesn't want to love and be loved in return? Isn't that what we all want in life?"
Looking back, my longest relationship has been only four months long. Not even half a year. Although the idea of marriage sounds blessedly wonderful, and I cannot wait for this to occur, I don't even think I'm ready for a long-term relationship to begin with. I don't have any idea what a long-term relationship even looks like (other than of course my friends or family). In my life, I'm such a live spark that I think it either wears people out easily, or I'm a bit too crazy for anyone's own good. Not that I'm willing to change everything that I am, but I can't say I blame guys for thinking I'm a bit nutty.
It's bizarre for me to think of myself in a long-term relationship. My roommate said that I'm so free-spirited that she can't see me being tied down, and I completely agree. I want to be someone's support system, and I want to be someone's partner. But I also want to find someone who lets me balance them out (as well as them balance me) and to find that person who dominates me, rather than the other way around.
As I listen to sappy songs such as "Bookends" by Simon and Garfunkel, all about love lost, I realize that I wish I had those experiences to love and be loved in return. There are glimpses, sure, but I can't set glimpses side-by-side and say I've experienced love or something like it. I can't wait to be heartbroken, just for the experience... is that strange? I've experienced the gut wrenching pain of loss from people who have disappointed me before, but nothing on the magnitude of what I imagine losing a loved one is. Many disappoint, and yet no one has even gotten close to capture my heart.
Am I unconquerable? I don't want to say, "This is all my fault," because I do feel that there is a perfect person for everyone, and yet I cast that belief from television shows, movies, plays, poetry. It must be a shed of truth to all of that, right? Even the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet... was true love blind in a magnificent way? They still were married. They shared a married life together, albeit a short one. Surely I can't expect life to be like television/movies/plays/poetry, but I can gather that what I have felt is not anywhere close to what others have felt when in a meaningful relationship.
I'm jealous. I don't want my life to be like the movies, but it would be nice to have that feeling that sappy love songs are really true, even with their cliches. It'd be nice to believe that.
In other news, about 20 days until Spring Break. I'm heading to SXSW to visit my sister, brother-in-law, brother, and his girlfriend. I cannot wait! It shall be glorious. It has to be. It's my last spring break in college, so I have extremely high expectations. :)
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Natural History Museum
Last weekend, I visited a friend in D.C. We did the whole sight-seeing thing, and it was fun...probably the most memorable was at the Natural History Museum. We spent the most time in the 'Oceans' section of the museum, and seeing all the different kind of sea life was amazing. We watched a video that said that scientists only know approximately five percent of all underwater life, which is such a small number, if you think about it. Although scientists can now hit the bottom of the ocean with different robotic boats, the sea is still a vast unknown.
When looking at the different animals, especially at the bottom of the ocean, it re-affirmed my faith in God because I could see how each animal was uniquely formed with different characteristics and traits. With all of the massive amount of animals in the world, it is so illogically sound to think that it all "just happened." I know it doesn't seem to be a good answer to think that God created everything either, because "where's the evidence?" (or so people will likely say) but you know what, I'd rather have belief in God and be wrong than to not believe in God and be proven that He does exist.
I remember asking my pastor one time what would happen if this whole religion thing was sham. He said "Okay, so what if it is? Are you doing bad things because you're believing in God? You're told not to steal or kill. You're told to help people in need and to volunteer. You're told to treat people as they want to be treated... what's the downside?" and I still think of that conversation often. Really, what is the downside? If I die, and God really is a complete waste of my earthly time... well, it's not a waste of my time. He would be someone I look to in times of need, and He instructs me to live a life that I consider good. And I'm not saying that Christians are perfect, or that all of us live the best lives imaginable, because I definitely fall short of that, but at least the guidelines are reasonable.
Just something I've been thinking about...
When looking at the different animals, especially at the bottom of the ocean, it re-affirmed my faith in God because I could see how each animal was uniquely formed with different characteristics and traits. With all of the massive amount of animals in the world, it is so illogically sound to think that it all "just happened." I know it doesn't seem to be a good answer to think that God created everything either, because "where's the evidence?" (or so people will likely say) but you know what, I'd rather have belief in God and be wrong than to not believe in God and be proven that He does exist.
I remember asking my pastor one time what would happen if this whole religion thing was sham. He said "Okay, so what if it is? Are you doing bad things because you're believing in God? You're told not to steal or kill. You're told to help people in need and to volunteer. You're told to treat people as they want to be treated... what's the downside?" and I still think of that conversation often. Really, what is the downside? If I die, and God really is a complete waste of my earthly time... well, it's not a waste of my time. He would be someone I look to in times of need, and He instructs me to live a life that I consider good. And I'm not saying that Christians are perfect, or that all of us live the best lives imaginable, because I definitely fall short of that, but at least the guidelines are reasonable.
Just something I've been thinking about...
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Israel.
I've started reading Hosea in the Bible, which is a miracle in itself that I wanted to read from the Bible. It's been a while since I've felt an obligation to read, and that obligation was completely welcome in my mind. I have been reading Hosea for a couple of reasons: Not only do I love the story in Hosea, but I really feel like I am very similar to the situation Israel was in (at least, emotionally).
Before, I used to think I was identical to Gomer, who is the prostitute that Hosea is told to marry. All of the sins and past thoughts and wrongdoings in my mind made me feel heavy, as though my transgressions were not ever going to be lifted off of my shoulders, and as it says in the Bible, the people of Israel had the same sin issues, yet looked to other things to relieve them of their sins instead of looking to the right answer- God.
Hosea 4:12b says, "They have played the prostitute, serving other gods and deserting their God." and later in 4:18b, "They love shame more than honor." Sheesh, what a heavy burden. Even though the Israelites knew the right way to go, they still turned to other things in order to fulfill them. I think a lot of us do that, too in earthly ways. For instance, even if someone is right, and we know they are right, why is it so hard for us to admit we are wrong? We know the right answer is to acknowledge someone's correctness and yet do we do it? Rarely.
In Chapter 6 of Hosea, though, God reveals a redeeming strategy after the symbolic redeeming of Hosea's buying of Gomer. He says in verse 1 that "He has injured us; now he will bandage our wounds." and God even says, "I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings." If you know anything about Old Testament offerings, this is quite a statement to the people. Many worshipers (of whatever they worshiped) would burn offerings in order to show their god how much they cared, and God is saying that those offerings aren't even important.
My one fear in reading Hosea is to be "scared" into going back to Jesus, when it gets to chapter 7. God states, "What sorrow awaits those who have deserted me! Let them die, for they have rebelled against me. I wanted to redeem them, but they have told lies about me. ...(verse 15-16) I trained them and made them strong, yet now they plot evil against me. They look everywhere except to the Most High." Again, in the foolishness of our young generation, I think a lot of us do this. Although we know the right answer, we look to something else that will fulfill us in the immediate instance.
What keeps running through my head is selfishness. One has to be selfish in order to be turning to other less-fulfilling things because one is thinking of instant gratification rather than eternal greatness. It's hard for college students to move the focus off of themselves, considering all of our teachers are pounding our heads by saying, "You have to make the most of your life" once you graduate. Even though that is true, and that we are supposed to be in command of our own destiny - or so they say - there is still God who knows us better than anyone else and already knows where we'll end up in our life. Hard work is still necessary on our part, but all within the respects of God's plan. That is the right answer, and we should be seeking that than looking to false, temporary fillers.
We all start out like Israel, with selfishness inside of us. It is the selfishness that motivates our desires and our mishaps in worldly possessions or gods, and yet God is always willing to buy us back from the prostitute state we are in. It's refreshing to know He is always willing to buy us back, even when you know you don't deserve it.
Before, I used to think I was identical to Gomer, who is the prostitute that Hosea is told to marry. All of the sins and past thoughts and wrongdoings in my mind made me feel heavy, as though my transgressions were not ever going to be lifted off of my shoulders, and as it says in the Bible, the people of Israel had the same sin issues, yet looked to other things to relieve them of their sins instead of looking to the right answer- God.
Hosea 4:12b says, "They have played the prostitute, serving other gods and deserting their God." and later in 4:18b, "They love shame more than honor." Sheesh, what a heavy burden. Even though the Israelites knew the right way to go, they still turned to other things in order to fulfill them. I think a lot of us do that, too in earthly ways. For instance, even if someone is right, and we know they are right, why is it so hard for us to admit we are wrong? We know the right answer is to acknowledge someone's correctness and yet do we do it? Rarely.
In Chapter 6 of Hosea, though, God reveals a redeeming strategy after the symbolic redeeming of Hosea's buying of Gomer. He says in verse 1 that "He has injured us; now he will bandage our wounds." and God even says, "I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings." If you know anything about Old Testament offerings, this is quite a statement to the people. Many worshipers (of whatever they worshiped) would burn offerings in order to show their god how much they cared, and God is saying that those offerings aren't even important.
My one fear in reading Hosea is to be "scared" into going back to Jesus, when it gets to chapter 7. God states, "What sorrow awaits those who have deserted me! Let them die, for they have rebelled against me. I wanted to redeem them, but they have told lies about me. ...(verse 15-16) I trained them and made them strong, yet now they plot evil against me. They look everywhere except to the Most High." Again, in the foolishness of our young generation, I think a lot of us do this. Although we know the right answer, we look to something else that will fulfill us in the immediate instance.
What keeps running through my head is selfishness. One has to be selfish in order to be turning to other less-fulfilling things because one is thinking of instant gratification rather than eternal greatness. It's hard for college students to move the focus off of themselves, considering all of our teachers are pounding our heads by saying, "You have to make the most of your life" once you graduate. Even though that is true, and that we are supposed to be in command of our own destiny - or so they say - there is still God who knows us better than anyone else and already knows where we'll end up in our life. Hard work is still necessary on our part, but all within the respects of God's plan. That is the right answer, and we should be seeking that than looking to false, temporary fillers.
We all start out like Israel, with selfishness inside of us. It is the selfishness that motivates our desires and our mishaps in worldly possessions or gods, and yet God is always willing to buy us back from the prostitute state we are in. It's refreshing to know He is always willing to buy us back, even when you know you don't deserve it.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Stop the Press
I have officially gotten sick of my computer. And yes, I know I am typing this on my computer, but a few days of being snowed in my apartment have made me extremely annoyed at my computer screen. My eyes burn from looking at the screen for so long.
We got so much snow in Virginia, and they just don't know what to do about it - they don't own snow plows or salt trucks, so it's quite the catastrophe.
Therefore, I've been stuck here in my apartment with my roommates lately. Friday was a snow day, so that was nice, but we all were bored out of our mind. It was around 10:30 p.m. and we all were about to fall asleep, and I said "Isn't anyone else bored out of their mind?" so we decided to play Monopoly instead. :) We played until about 1 a.m. and it was such a fun time. Today, one of my roommates made waffles this morning, and we played Phase 10 afterward. It's just been such a relaxing day so far. Although I'm still stuck in, I am not as bored as I was yesterday.
By the way, can I just say how crazy "16 and Pregnant" is? Wow. Such a nutty show, yet it sucks me in every time. How terrible!
Anyhow, we're stuck inside. But it's turning into slush outside, so maybe I'll hit the grocery later today. We'll see. :)
We got so much snow in Virginia, and they just don't know what to do about it - they don't own snow plows or salt trucks, so it's quite the catastrophe.
Therefore, I've been stuck here in my apartment with my roommates lately. Friday was a snow day, so that was nice, but we all were bored out of our mind. It was around 10:30 p.m. and we all were about to fall asleep, and I said "Isn't anyone else bored out of their mind?" so we decided to play Monopoly instead. :) We played until about 1 a.m. and it was such a fun time. Today, one of my roommates made waffles this morning, and we played Phase 10 afterward. It's just been such a relaxing day so far. Although I'm still stuck in, I am not as bored as I was yesterday.
By the way, can I just say how crazy "16 and Pregnant" is? Wow. Such a nutty show, yet it sucks me in every time. How terrible!
Anyhow, we're stuck inside. But it's turning into slush outside, so maybe I'll hit the grocery later today. We'll see. :)
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
You've Got Mail
The title of this blog does not refer to the AOL term, but rather the 1998 major motion picture, written, produced, and directed by Nora Ephron.
Today has not been a good day. No, let me backtrack: the past 24 hours have not been kind to me. And not because of anyone else, but because I chose to be counterproductive and extremely lazy - almost to an unfathomable amount.
I knew I had 4 article reviews to write along with another 300-word story about kumquats. After slacking for about, oh, eight hours, I finally buckled down and wrote a little something. This began around 1:30 a.m. Why did I do this? I've been up for almost 20 hours already, and still do not have a solitary thing to show for it. I hadn't completed any of my work.
Well, after writing for a good half-hour, it was 2 a.m. and it was beyond my mental capability to work any longer. My mind kept hallucinating and losing focus, almost as if I had recently acquired vertigo and wasn't sure how to deal with it.
My head hit my pillow but, of course, it could not shut off because my work was still incomplete. My mind continued to race about how I could seriously pull this one off. And then, the next thing I knew, my alarm was going off at 7:45. My ride was picking me up at 8:30 a.m. And I still have 3 other article reviews to write...
I wrote one more review, decided I shouldn't look like such a hot mess, and took a quick shower. After getting somewhat ready for the day (meaning I still had mascara outlines and semi-dry hair) I continued to write. Somehow, it was 8:20, and I had 10 minutes to write two article reviews.
I don't know what happened in my mind, but somehow I was able to write two articles, start brewing coffee, put Pop Tarts in the toaster, and dry my hair the rest of the way. Those 10 minutes were quite a blur, I have to say.
I threw everything in my backpack, raced out the door with coffee in one hand and my Pop Tarts in the other. I made it to my 9:15 a.m. class with about 10 minutes to spare when my friend asks, "We have a test today, right?" I had no idea there was a test in this class. All of my work that I kept procrastinating was for a different class. My 9:15 a.m. class wasn't even on my radar... which showed... in my score on the test, that was a pop test, as far as I was concerned. The teacher had never talked about it in class, it was just on the syllabus. The same syllabus I've been avoiding since another class has taken my full attention (apart from my attention being focused on television, which is why I procrastinated in the first place).
So today wasn't so hot. And after my two classes that pretty much massacred what I had left of my alertness, I changed into pajamas and grabbed snacks. I brought my pillow out to the couch, and popped in my favorite feel-good movie: You've Got Mail. It solves any problem I ever could have. It's such a simple slice of serenity. The movie shows me that life can be that magical, at least that I would want to live Kathleen Kelly's life. It's such a seemingly plain life, but so optimistic at the same time. It gets me every time.
Snuggle. Watch your favorite movie, and drink something good while doing it. At least that's what I'm doing for the rest of today, until I kick my life into full throttle. Which I will do tomorrow.
Today has not been a good day. No, let me backtrack: the past 24 hours have not been kind to me. And not because of anyone else, but because I chose to be counterproductive and extremely lazy - almost to an unfathomable amount.
I knew I had 4 article reviews to write along with another 300-word story about kumquats. After slacking for about, oh, eight hours, I finally buckled down and wrote a little something. This began around 1:30 a.m. Why did I do this? I've been up for almost 20 hours already, and still do not have a solitary thing to show for it. I hadn't completed any of my work.
Well, after writing for a good half-hour, it was 2 a.m. and it was beyond my mental capability to work any longer. My mind kept hallucinating and losing focus, almost as if I had recently acquired vertigo and wasn't sure how to deal with it.
My head hit my pillow but, of course, it could not shut off because my work was still incomplete. My mind continued to race about how I could seriously pull this one off. And then, the next thing I knew, my alarm was going off at 7:45. My ride was picking me up at 8:30 a.m. And I still have 3 other article reviews to write...
I wrote one more review, decided I shouldn't look like such a hot mess, and took a quick shower. After getting somewhat ready for the day (meaning I still had mascara outlines and semi-dry hair) I continued to write. Somehow, it was 8:20, and I had 10 minutes to write two article reviews.
I don't know what happened in my mind, but somehow I was able to write two articles, start brewing coffee, put Pop Tarts in the toaster, and dry my hair the rest of the way. Those 10 minutes were quite a blur, I have to say.
I threw everything in my backpack, raced out the door with coffee in one hand and my Pop Tarts in the other. I made it to my 9:15 a.m. class with about 10 minutes to spare when my friend asks, "We have a test today, right?" I had no idea there was a test in this class. All of my work that I kept procrastinating was for a different class. My 9:15 a.m. class wasn't even on my radar... which showed... in my score on the test, that was a pop test, as far as I was concerned. The teacher had never talked about it in class, it was just on the syllabus. The same syllabus I've been avoiding since another class has taken my full attention (apart from my attention being focused on television, which is why I procrastinated in the first place).
So today wasn't so hot. And after my two classes that pretty much massacred what I had left of my alertness, I changed into pajamas and grabbed snacks. I brought my pillow out to the couch, and popped in my favorite feel-good movie: You've Got Mail. It solves any problem I ever could have. It's such a simple slice of serenity. The movie shows me that life can be that magical, at least that I would want to live Kathleen Kelly's life. It's such a seemingly plain life, but so optimistic at the same time. It gets me every time.
Snuggle. Watch your favorite movie, and drink something good while doing it. At least that's what I'm doing for the rest of today, until I kick my life into full throttle. Which I will do tomorrow.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Ohh shoot.
I'm currently reading "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Donald Miller, suggested by my friend Kyle. The author discovers how to write a real story, and one thing was "You have to write every single day. You can't just wait for personal inspiration to strike, or else a novel will never get done."
Wow. That's a lot of pressure for me. Especially since this blog was intended for everyday writing, and now that's not being completed, to write in a fiction style everyday is so much work. Also taking into account that I have 4 writing-based classes this semester......you'd think I would be sick of writing. Except that I'm not, surprisingly.
But I still can't find time to write on here...........
I'm going to actually make a valiant effort.
For instance, I watched "On The Town" tonight for a musical theater paper, but wow, I forgot that I loved Frank Sinatra. And Gene Kelly. And the classic women such as Ann Miller and Vera-Ellen have given me a totally new inspiration for hitting the gym. Those women are skinny and fabulous, and I would love wearing revealing (tasteful) clothes like they do - If you see the movie, you know what I mean. These girls can dance, tap, sing, and parade around looking wonderful while doing it. I have new motivation to run as much as humanly possible before Spring Break. I will look fabulous for Austin, TX. :)
Oh, and going back to "On The Town," I found that passion for classic romances again in that movie. I forgot how much I loved the beautiful storytelling through song. Now that I've taken musical theater, I appreciate a whole new aspect of the music and harmonies. It's so great to hear harmonies and unison and vocal ranges in order to tell the story. For example, if characters sing in a high tenor for males and soprano for females, then the character is idealistic and does not find life in reality or take things at face value. Their life is usually in the clouds and won't think in a reasonable manner. It's fascinating if you look at all the parts separately in a musical and then seeing how they intricately form some dynamic show: the dance, the songs, the script itself. It's really crazy how much time is put into one simple entertaining musical.
...Okay, I'm aware that I went on a few rabbit trails. So I'm going to wrap it up. haha
Wow. That's a lot of pressure for me. Especially since this blog was intended for everyday writing, and now that's not being completed, to write in a fiction style everyday is so much work. Also taking into account that I have 4 writing-based classes this semester......you'd think I would be sick of writing. Except that I'm not, surprisingly.
But I still can't find time to write on here...........
I'm going to actually make a valiant effort.
For instance, I watched "On The Town" tonight for a musical theater paper, but wow, I forgot that I loved Frank Sinatra. And Gene Kelly. And the classic women such as Ann Miller and Vera-Ellen have given me a totally new inspiration for hitting the gym. Those women are skinny and fabulous, and I would love wearing revealing (tasteful) clothes like they do - If you see the movie, you know what I mean. These girls can dance, tap, sing, and parade around looking wonderful while doing it. I have new motivation to run as much as humanly possible before Spring Break. I will look fabulous for Austin, TX. :)
Oh, and going back to "On The Town," I found that passion for classic romances again in that movie. I forgot how much I loved the beautiful storytelling through song. Now that I've taken musical theater, I appreciate a whole new aspect of the music and harmonies. It's so great to hear harmonies and unison and vocal ranges in order to tell the story. For example, if characters sing in a high tenor for males and soprano for females, then the character is idealistic and does not find life in reality or take things at face value. Their life is usually in the clouds and won't think in a reasonable manner. It's fascinating if you look at all the parts separately in a musical and then seeing how they intricately form some dynamic show: the dance, the songs, the script itself. It's really crazy how much time is put into one simple entertaining musical.
...Okay, I'm aware that I went on a few rabbit trails. So I'm going to wrap it up. haha
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Activism
I ran into an old friend today, and she is one of those people who brighten up my day anytime I see her. She always is ready to compliment, or sympathize, and generally cares about how I'm doing. Today, we caught up quickly about our lives and one thing she said was that she could see me as a politician. "I'm surprised you don't do any of that political stuff," she said. "Politicians grab the bull by the balls, and you do that." This got me thinking... Why don't I ever get into the political arena? Oh, that's right - I'd rather be an activist than a politician. I'd rather fight for something I personally believe in, and I don't want the responsibility of representing an entire city or county or state, where people will sway with and against you at the drop of a hat.
I could see myself as an activist in the future. I like to read up on topics and have support with my decision - Kind of like a lobbyist, but in a good way.
Anyhow, it's just something that got me thinking. I'm too compelled with the notion that everyone should be independent and represent their own idea of thinking to be a politician. But I think I'm okay with that. :)
If you're going to be on this earth, why not have an opinion about what's going on in it?
I could see myself as an activist in the future. I like to read up on topics and have support with my decision - Kind of like a lobbyist, but in a good way.
Anyhow, it's just something that got me thinking. I'm too compelled with the notion that everyone should be independent and represent their own idea of thinking to be a politician. But I think I'm okay with that. :)
If you're going to be on this earth, why not have an opinion about what's going on in it?
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Bad News.
How do we react when we hear of sad or bad news? Some people cry when faced with death, some laugh because they can't express the true feelings inside. Some people get angry when something bad goes their way. They're pissed instead of sad, like the typical reaction expected. It's so different from when we receive happy news. If good news occurs, we all have a similar smile-inducing reaction where joyous yelling ensues and warm embraces happen. But sad news? No one can guess anyone's reaction in that situation. For example, when I hear bad news, I typically become angry. I get pissed.
As a Christian, we are taught to praise God in all situations - good or bad. Songs like "Praise You In This Storm" by Casting Crowns encourage Christians to be bold and worshipful during the sorrowful pits of our life. We are so eager to praise God when the going is good, and we praise Him with all of our might...until something bad happens. And then we reject God. We spite Him. We yell. We get angry. We blame him for everything that has happened wrong in our lives (usually with a lot of pent up anger from past events as well).
Like I said, I get angry when bad things occur. And what has made me angrier lately has been the church. This unified body of God that is supposed to support and provide fellowship. Why did this make me angry? Because I hear people sing "Hosanna" loud and proud, and they yell "Amen!" to the fact that God has saved them... when most people have never been through difficult situations. Yes, shout Amen for whenever you have never experienced things. Now, I'm not saying that people do not have their own battles to fight, or that everyone is innocent, but the majority of people have not been so far low as some have experienced. I have experienced something that I wish no one would ever have to, with a betrayal of trust and boundaries pushed. And it's hard for me to be joyful to God about this situation. I'm thankful to God that nothing worse happened in my life, but truly, I want to walk away from the false pretenses that Christians have. I want to praise God after I've been through something bad, but I'm not yet in that place. I personally feel as though I'm not ready to walk back to God and his stereotypical church family. I know that God is not stereotypical, and that I need a fellowship of believers...but I'm not ready.
Which is hard, considering I go to "the world's holiest university," as dubbed by some.
So I'm going to try something. I have an obsession with (500) Days of Summer, and so I'm beginning a (500) Days of Prayer. 500 days of praying to God every day. It's my new goal.
As a Christian, we are taught to praise God in all situations - good or bad. Songs like "Praise You In This Storm" by Casting Crowns encourage Christians to be bold and worshipful during the sorrowful pits of our life. We are so eager to praise God when the going is good, and we praise Him with all of our might...until something bad happens. And then we reject God. We spite Him. We yell. We get angry. We blame him for everything that has happened wrong in our lives (usually with a lot of pent up anger from past events as well).
Like I said, I get angry when bad things occur. And what has made me angrier lately has been the church. This unified body of God that is supposed to support and provide fellowship. Why did this make me angry? Because I hear people sing "Hosanna" loud and proud, and they yell "Amen!" to the fact that God has saved them... when most people have never been through difficult situations. Yes, shout Amen for whenever you have never experienced things. Now, I'm not saying that people do not have their own battles to fight, or that everyone is innocent, but the majority of people have not been so far low as some have experienced. I have experienced something that I wish no one would ever have to, with a betrayal of trust and boundaries pushed. And it's hard for me to be joyful to God about this situation. I'm thankful to God that nothing worse happened in my life, but truly, I want to walk away from the false pretenses that Christians have. I want to praise God after I've been through something bad, but I'm not yet in that place. I personally feel as though I'm not ready to walk back to God and his stereotypical church family. I know that God is not stereotypical, and that I need a fellowship of believers...but I'm not ready.
Which is hard, considering I go to "the world's holiest university," as dubbed by some.
So I'm going to try something. I have an obsession with (500) Days of Summer, and so I'm beginning a (500) Days of Prayer. 500 days of praying to God every day. It's my new goal.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Conan's Last
During this whole Late Night debacle, I've had a change of heart. I loved Jay Leno - I was the biggest fan of Headlines and of the Tonight Show at 11:35 p.m. I wasn't a massive supporter of the move to 10 p.m., but I was so happy to receive my Headlines every Monday night again.
Ever since the suggested move has been thrown out there, I am no longer a fan of Jay Leno. As much as I love his little bits (even the new ones like Jay's 10 at 10), it is no comparison to what Conan has earned over the years. True, Conan was a writer in the beginning and he had no television experience, but look at the fan base he has created! Most college students have heard of something said by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, or know the Imaginary String Dance.
When Conan's show ended at 12:05 last year, I watched the last episode of Jay and Conan. I wasn't even a dedicated fan of Conan's at the time, but I have such respect for him now. He is taking a stand for what is rightfully his. He has the cajones to say "This isn't the way it should be handled" to the execs of NBC, and he's absolutely right. Leno has more than enough money, cars, etc. that he does not NEED to work, not to mention that his 10 o'clock show simply wasn't working. It wasn't generating the numbers and his star power is over after the nearly 20 years on the air (either in prime time or late night).
Okay, finally, I am so heated about this whole mess, and now I have to look back and ask, "why is this even remotely important?" One of my roommates says (indirectly) that it doesn't matter. And in the grand scheme of things, clearly the "Late Night Debate" is not what keeps the world turning. I am boycotting Jay Leno's return to 11:35 p.m. after the Olympics. I am hoping that the rest of the Late Night world joins me. According to my roommate, people will just be sitting, watching the television and saying, "Oh, Jay's on. He's funny" and watch either way. Why celebrate a man who has stolen another man's golden opportunity?
Conan and his staff have worked for months and months to produce a wonderful show. Everyone in his staff had to relocate from NYC to LA, and all for a less-than-a-year sham. I feel for Conan's staff and crew, and I am sad for his show to conclude in the little time remaining of his last show.
After all of that ranting, I do have to say: Support Hope for Haiti Now. It's a wonderful cause, and the performances from Hope For Haiti Now were truly moving and inspiring.
Go to hopeforhaitinow.org. Text "give" to 50555 or "haiti" to 90999.
Ever since the suggested move has been thrown out there, I am no longer a fan of Jay Leno. As much as I love his little bits (even the new ones like Jay's 10 at 10), it is no comparison to what Conan has earned over the years. True, Conan was a writer in the beginning and he had no television experience, but look at the fan base he has created! Most college students have heard of something said by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, or know the Imaginary String Dance.
When Conan's show ended at 12:05 last year, I watched the last episode of Jay and Conan. I wasn't even a dedicated fan of Conan's at the time, but I have such respect for him now. He is taking a stand for what is rightfully his. He has the cajones to say "This isn't the way it should be handled" to the execs of NBC, and he's absolutely right. Leno has more than enough money, cars, etc. that he does not NEED to work, not to mention that his 10 o'clock show simply wasn't working. It wasn't generating the numbers and his star power is over after the nearly 20 years on the air (either in prime time or late night).
Okay, finally, I am so heated about this whole mess, and now I have to look back and ask, "why is this even remotely important?" One of my roommates says (indirectly) that it doesn't matter. And in the grand scheme of things, clearly the "Late Night Debate" is not what keeps the world turning. I am boycotting Jay Leno's return to 11:35 p.m. after the Olympics. I am hoping that the rest of the Late Night world joins me. According to my roommate, people will just be sitting, watching the television and saying, "Oh, Jay's on. He's funny" and watch either way. Why celebrate a man who has stolen another man's golden opportunity?
Conan and his staff have worked for months and months to produce a wonderful show. Everyone in his staff had to relocate from NYC to LA, and all for a less-than-a-year sham. I feel for Conan's staff and crew, and I am sad for his show to conclude in the little time remaining of his last show.
After all of that ranting, I do have to say: Support Hope for Haiti Now. It's a wonderful cause, and the performances from Hope For Haiti Now were truly moving and inspiring.
Go to hopeforhaitinow.org. Text "give" to 50555 or "haiti" to 90999.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Inspirational Quote
"When it seems like everything is against you, often times it's because God has something in store for you." - Joel Osteen
Usually I'm not a fan of Mr. Osteen, but I do find comfort in this quote.
On a completely unrelated quote, I've got a huge crush on Billy Zane. Why? I have no idea. :)
I know I want to write on this thing, and I'm encouraged to by my teachers to improve my writing, but truthfully, I'm all thoughtless at the moment. Longer blog tomorrow? I have something that I want to discuss, but it's such a huge can of worms that I don't exactly feel like opening up at the moment. Although I will say one little thesis statement, and not touch anything more about it:
The reason for all of the separations in the church is due to personal study.
I'll get back to that tomorrow, most likely. :)
Usually I'm not a fan of Mr. Osteen, but I do find comfort in this quote.
On a completely unrelated quote, I've got a huge crush on Billy Zane. Why? I have no idea. :)
I know I want to write on this thing, and I'm encouraged to by my teachers to improve my writing, but truthfully, I'm all thoughtless at the moment. Longer blog tomorrow? I have something that I want to discuss, but it's such a huge can of worms that I don't exactly feel like opening up at the moment. Although I will say one little thesis statement, and not touch anything more about it:
The reason for all of the separations in the church is due to personal study.
I'll get back to that tomorrow, most likely. :)
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Game Night
Oh, blog! How I've missed you!
My intensive is now over, and I think it went really well. I loved my teacher and our class discussions. Musical theater is such a passion of mine and reading the classic scripts has been so interesting. But now, the hard stuff is over (meaning eight hours of lecture every day and reading two plays and writing two papers every night), and I have normal classes starting Monday. I'm taking six classes, and either four or five of them are journalism-related - I'm so excited. It's going to be awesome, and I have just two semesters left! This is my last spring semester, which is crazy. It really has gone by super fast, but even earlier today, my roommate said she did something yesterday for the first time in her college career: hung out in a group setting with boys and all the roommates! :)
Last night was extremely fun, though. The three roommates, one of my roommates' boyfriend and his friend, and I went out to dinner and then back to our apartment to play board games. We ended up playing Phase 10 for THREE hours. It was such a good time; so much so that we played "Pass the Pigs" and Apples to Apples after that. It was so interesting to see everyone's mood change from game to game: Phase 10 was extremely serious and frustrating, Pass the Pigs was silly, and Apples to Apples was...sillier. And probably where we learned the most about each other. We loved our game night so much that Kendall (one of my roommates) wants to do a game night every week or every two weeks. I am thrilled because I've wanted that for a while. I think there is no comparison to playing games and conversing with one another for a night. It's laid-back, creates great memories, and gives tons of easy laughs. The stuff that people say when trying to justify their answers during Apples to Apples is priceless. One of the adjectives for Apples to Apples was Eternal, and Erin (roommate) tried to justify picking Jupiter. "Jupiter - it's a PLANET." - that was all the rationality she needed. :)
I've realized something in my life recently: I live surrounded by clutter, and I really want to get rid of that. It's so...disorganized. Whoever said that the first step to an uncluttered mind is a clean workspace was right. De-clutter, I say! De-clutter. I find that I hold on to so many "sentimental" things in my materialistic side of life, when really, the stuff is overlooked and if I got rid of it, I would never know. Just as it says in 1 Peter 2:11 (which hangs on my wall, right next to my bedroom door), "Dear friends, I warn you as temporary residents and foreigners to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls." Wow...feel like cleaning up anything right about now? It's just STUFF. I think I need to repeat that every now and again to myself.
I'm so glad I have time to write in this again... I really have missed it so much! Today has been the perfect Saturday, so far: I slept in, made pancakes for my roommates, worked out, cleaned up, caught up with Internet videos, and watched some movies. What could be better?
My intensive is now over, and I think it went really well. I loved my teacher and our class discussions. Musical theater is such a passion of mine and reading the classic scripts has been so interesting. But now, the hard stuff is over (meaning eight hours of lecture every day and reading two plays and writing two papers every night), and I have normal classes starting Monday. I'm taking six classes, and either four or five of them are journalism-related - I'm so excited. It's going to be awesome, and I have just two semesters left! This is my last spring semester, which is crazy. It really has gone by super fast, but even earlier today, my roommate said she did something yesterday for the first time in her college career: hung out in a group setting with boys and all the roommates! :)
Last night was extremely fun, though. The three roommates, one of my roommates' boyfriend and his friend, and I went out to dinner and then back to our apartment to play board games. We ended up playing Phase 10 for THREE hours. It was such a good time; so much so that we played "Pass the Pigs" and Apples to Apples after that. It was so interesting to see everyone's mood change from game to game: Phase 10 was extremely serious and frustrating, Pass the Pigs was silly, and Apples to Apples was...sillier. And probably where we learned the most about each other. We loved our game night so much that Kendall (one of my roommates) wants to do a game night every week or every two weeks. I am thrilled because I've wanted that for a while. I think there is no comparison to playing games and conversing with one another for a night. It's laid-back, creates great memories, and gives tons of easy laughs. The stuff that people say when trying to justify their answers during Apples to Apples is priceless. One of the adjectives for Apples to Apples was Eternal, and Erin (roommate) tried to justify picking Jupiter. "Jupiter - it's a PLANET." - that was all the rationality she needed. :)
I've realized something in my life recently: I live surrounded by clutter, and I really want to get rid of that. It's so...disorganized. Whoever said that the first step to an uncluttered mind is a clean workspace was right. De-clutter, I say! De-clutter. I find that I hold on to so many "sentimental" things in my materialistic side of life, when really, the stuff is overlooked and if I got rid of it, I would never know. Just as it says in 1 Peter 2:11 (which hangs on my wall, right next to my bedroom door), "Dear friends, I warn you as temporary residents and foreigners to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls." Wow...feel like cleaning up anything right about now? It's just STUFF. I think I need to repeat that every now and again to myself.
I'm so glad I have time to write in this again... I really have missed it so much! Today has been the perfect Saturday, so far: I slept in, made pancakes for my roommates, worked out, cleaned up, caught up with Internet videos, and watched some movies. What could be better?
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