Guess what I found?

So, there I was: looking at my cluttered desk, in the middle of a homework session, and decided that it was time to clean. I put papers neatly into organized piles; I threw away trash thrown around the desk. As I was uncovering one massive pile of newspapers, I found something so tiny, and yet so precious: my Bible. I don't think I have seen that ol' thing in a good two months, which means: a) I haven't been reading my Bible. b) I haven't been going to church. c) I haven't bothered to look at my Bible, nor miss it. d) All of the above. Clearly, my life has not been guided spiritually in a long, long time, and quite frankly, I was okay with that until today.

Let me back up. A little background on me and my situation: My name is Abby, I'm a Print Journalism major with a minor in Intercultural Studies, and I go to Liberty University. For those of you who don't know, that's the school founded by Jerry Falwell (noted televangelist and beyond outspoken on everything) and it is the largest evangelical university in the world. We have 12,000 students on campus and an impressive 38,000 online. My school is famous for its rules, like the fact that we cannot see rated R movies or drink alcohol even if we're 21. Oh, and having an abortion will make you on academic expulsion (not to mention paying $500 to the school). The school has its ups and downs, and I'll be honest with you - I wanted to transfer from Liberty last year. But more on that later... Point is, I'm a journalism student and I cannot wait to graduate.

Back to my Bible. This is going to sound weird, but I love to sit around and just read chapters from the Bible. For fun. Not necessarily on a spiritual journey or to find the answers God has hidden for me in some obscure verse, but just to read it. It's like reading any other kind of book for pleasure. And lately, I've ignored my Bible even though I usually feel joyful after reading a short verse, paragraph, chapter. My goal is to kind of work my way back into reading the Bible for pleasure, without schoolwork bringing me down (as it always does... You've got to love finals preparation). This is kind of an experiment to see what I can accomplish on my own, and whether I make time for my Bible or not. I'm sure God would love it if I did. I can hear Him chuckling at me now, or at least I hope God thinks I'm funny.

Since I already started my blog out with a little story about my Bible, you probably assume I'm some goodie two-shoes who devotes her daily life to God and preaching the Gospel to the ends of the earth. I almost wish that were true. Instead of walking next to God, I have been merely about a mile away from God this past year, following the bread crumbs He's been leaving behind for me. I know what He wants from me, and what He asks of me, but have decided I just want to figure things out. I suppose that's the typical college student's dilemma - figuring out who you are, or who you're supposed to be. Anyhow, I think I share a unique experience: I go to a Christian school, sing the Christian songs, and live with Christian people. That's not the unique aspect. The uniqueness of my situation is the fact that I am kind of pushing my Bible aside, so I can be a bit hedonistic at times. (And oh, how my youth pastor would cringe.)

These are my struggles with God, careers, schooling, etc. Hopefully someone can glean a different worldview or life lesson from my experiences. Enjoy my embarrassments and hard truths - I prepare to lay them on the line, just for strangers on the Internet to read. :)