Live, from New York, it's Saturday night!

While everyone else was dreaming to be a ballet dancer, a fireman, or an astronaut, I had a different wishlist for my life. And although I did love the idea of being an astronaut (even though I am terrible at science), more than anything, I dreamed of being a host on Saturday Night Live.

More specifically, I imagined what kind of poses I would do for my pictures before and after commercial breaks. Those little photos show so much about a person, and I always thought "What poses could I do that are completely original and have never been done before?" I am no genius with photography, so those original ideas usually came slow.

In addition to hosting, I always thought I'd be the first Abby on SNL. I just had to be. Unfortunately, that dream came to a crushing end about two years ago when Abby Elliot (daughter of Chris Elliot, a former cast member) joined the cast. Even though I majored in journalism and could never ever do stand up even if I had Ellen DeGeneres as my coach, my self-esteem was still bruised when I saw Abby Elliot had become a featured player.

Reading an article in Rolling Stone magazine about Jimmy Fallon last night (and after watching the hilarious episode of SNL with Jesse Eisenberg - and the real Mark Zuckerberg) helped me rediscover that love for SNL and my dreams of joining (or hosting) are still intact.

"I remember saying to myself, 'If I don't make it on Saturday Night Live before I'm 25, I'm going to kill myself,'" [Fallon] casually confesses one night. "It's crazy. I had no other plan. I didn't have friends, I didn't have a girlfriend, I didn't have anything going on. I had my career, that was it." As much as I love SNL and would give anything to see a taping live (and have entered the lottery for SNL seats about five years in a row, to no avail), I'm not as drastic as Jimmy to say I'd kill myself if I never was a part of the show. I have applied for NBC Page positions multiple times, never to hear back from NBC/GE.

This is not supposed to be a sob story about how I'll never be on stage at SNL, but if I were ever asked to host SNL for some crazy reason, I know I would savor every moment that I was there. Is it warped to have the dream that I become successful enough to host SNL? I would love that kind of lifestyle, for a little while, anyway. I couldn't be a dramatic actor or a comedian, but I would love to be enough of a topical newsworthy person in order to host SNL - that would be my greatest achievement and I dare say I'd be fine dying right after the show was over. It wouldn't get any better than that.

Lorne Michaels, if you read this, and are looking for any help whatsoever (I'd happily clean the writer's room every night if you needed it done), just understand you would help make my dreams come true.

Jimmy Fallon didn't have a master plan in order for him to host his own late night talk show, but now look at where he is. It started with a little dream of being on SNL, and now he has a wife and famous friends and the best late night band in the Roots. It seems that Fallon's success couldn't have happened to a greater guy, and I would hope that my success could be a sliver of what he experiences daily.

Let's not be cliche...

With the new year, I am becoming like the other 75% of Americans who make the resolution of losing weight. But unlike the majority, I will actually keep this promise to myself for a happier, healthy life.

First of all, I am setting myself some ground rules so that habits are created and stick with me into my adult journey. I've completed my Bachelors, I'm moving on to a new city and a new life (although the last two are TBD).

Some rules for the next following days/weeks/months, until they become habitual:
1) Drink only 225 calories of liquids per day. I read in "Women's Health" that the average person drinks approximately 450 calories a day, which could be the same as a small meal. So, first rule is I must limit my drinking from sodas, wine/beer, etc.

2) If I head to the gym, I must clock in at least three miles on the treadmill. Whether that be running, walking, or a combo of the two, I must do three miles on the treadmill. If I do the elliptical or bike, three miles would be acceptable as well - but I usually don't use the elliptical or bike often, so that's basically a moot point.

3) I need to reduce my refined carb intake. There isn't a set limit on that, which might get me in trouble, but I know that it will be the key to my success. My carb intake is out the roof right now... Bagels for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (or so it feels like).

4) I want/need to bring my weight down. I'm currently at 135, and although that is not overweight for my height (5'4), it is still on the higher end of the spectrum, so I'd like to get down to approximately 125 - and to stay at that weight. Also, my jeans used to be a loose 8 or tight 6 last year, when I worked out nearly every day, and now they're a snug 8. In inches, my waist toggles between 28 and 31 inches. It would be great to know my waist was under 30 inches with certainty, and if I could fit comfortably into a size 6, I'd be even happier.

5) I don't want to set a number on how many days I must go to the gym, mostly because I feel like once you don't meet that number, you feel defeated and then you get discouraged and into a downward spiral you go. So I would like to say that I want to make room for exercise daily, even if it's a 15-minute walk, or doing squats and push ups during commercial breaks while watching TV.

6) Probably the most important rule is putting healthier foods into my body as a whole. I became a vegetarian a little over a year ago, and so far it has been great (although I still eat fish for protein, but I am trying to cut that out slowly but surely). Being a vegetarian isn't for animal rights or diet, but mostly because I am not a fan of big businesses or food processing. There is a lot of animal cruelty when certain businesses that run the, say, chicken industry because they need chicken at a much faster pace than what normal, healthy chickens grow - but that isn't the sole reason I became a vegetarian. If you ever get a chance to watch the documentaries "Food Matters" or "Food, Inc." those films helped me stop eating poultry, when I was done eating red meat. I don't try to press this lifestyle on others (especially guys, because I know they love their meat-and-potato dinners), but if you are curious about vegetarianism, I am more than happy to answer any questions.
All of that to say: I don't eat as many fruits and vegetables as possible. And not the occasional yogurt or hidden vegetable, but actual natural fruits and vegetables. For instance, I will incorporate red pepper strips into my diet as a snack with ranch dip instead of always grabbing crackers. Making simple switches that will add to my health will be great for me in the long run.

So, those main six rules are what I am hoping to revolve my life around so that I am a healthier person. I ran a 5k in October, and although I have ran since then, it is still few and far between. I have no excuse not to work out more than I do now - I can easily make the time to do simple, effective exercises daily.

If anyone has a recipe they want to offer or try, I'd love to be a part of that too - I have been writing down recipes for the past couple of days to try (including lettuce cups filled with light tuna salad, or making my own fried rice). If anyone else has some surefire work out methods, I'm completely open to that as well.

Since you are reading this, I want you to keep me accountable for what I am doing in terms of my health. It is important to know where I am falling in terms of my diet or exercise. Even if I don't feel like working out, I know that 10-15 minutes walking outside can improve my mood (which has been clinically proven). There is no excuse, and I will lose approximately 10 pounds this year (although that sounds slightly scary as I type that).

Thank you for reading,
-A

Moving On Up

While on my Thanksgiving break from school (which could not have come any earlier...), my cell phone two-year plan was up, so it was time to upgrade. In my mind, I was assuming we'd show up, get a free upgrade to a sort of nicer phone, and be done with it. It turns out that I was too choose-y with my cell phone selections. I told the salesperson that I didn't want a touch screen, and I didn't want a Blackberry. That left me with two options: both that were extremely similar to my old phone, which was (in my opinion) good.

I wasn't really ready to give up the phone I loved, but I was sick of its' poor performance (it would shut off during text messages or in the middle of phone calls). I wanted something similar, and I wasn't ready to get into the world of smart phones just yet. My peers seem to feel that Blackberrys or iPhones are necessary, when really, they are not. No one needs to have Internet browsers on their phone, especially when every one of my peers also has a laptop that can search the Internet. Why look at a two-inch screen when you can view a 17-inch screen? Still, that idea baffles me.

I called my brother, who has a smart phone, and he said he would rather get rid of Internet from his laptop. I couldn't even imagine my laptop without Internet (well, actually, because my parents don't have WiFi, I don't have Internet on my laptop... so basically, it stays off during all trips back home).

My dad heavily hinted at the steadfast move toward all smart phones in the near future. He didn't want to force the newest smart phone on me, but at the same time, he didn't want me to be behind on the times among my peers in the competitive work force.

I really didn't want to give up my comfort of my cell phone, but I did recognize that receiving the latest news and e-mails on my phone rather than on my computer had its advantages. All in all, I ended up with a new smart phone, against my original wishes, but without full Internet capability (because I still would rather look at websites in their full size). It is so strange with the change of systems, and I hate figuring out what all of the little symbols mean when they flash on my phone.

I don't want to hate on my generation, but the simple capabilities of texting and phone calls are enough for me. I don't want all the extra apps, browsers, and other random bells and whistles that everyone else seems to feel is "necessary." It does feel nice to be ahead of the curve (slightly) with the newer smart phone, but I already miss my old phone. I know it'll be better for me in the long run, especially in my career.

Does anyone else have a smart phone, or does anyone regret not getting a smart phone? Let me know :) Am I the only one who feels like going back to landlines (maybe with the exception of texting)? It'd be nice to live a simple life and not able to be contacted at all hours of the day. It's quieter, and sometimes that quiet can be nice.

(500) Days

Reasons Why I Should Become More Like Summer Finn from (500) Days of Summer:

1) She has a great sense of personal style. Although everything she wears isn’t perfect or the best outfit for her body type, she still makes it work.

2) She is bold about her values and fights for what she believes in. At the same time, she isn’t close-minded.

3) She apologizes before the sun sets upon her anger. She settles the score quickly, even if it isn’t a perfect resolution.

4) Summer is interested in off-the-wall things, which therefore makes her interesting.

5) Summer lays her feelings out on the line, without facing vulnerability.

Although there are so many, many other reasons that I should be more like Summer Finn, I must also find a balance between becoming her and being like Tom Hansen. Perfect, wonderful, glorious Tom Hansen. He's practically perfect in every way, just like Mary Poppins.

This One's For You.

Here in Cologne
I know I said it wrong
I walked you to the train
And back across alone
To my hotel room
And ordered me some food
And now I'm wondering why the floor has suddenly become a moving target

Four, three, two, one,
I'm letting you go
I will let go
If you will let go

Says here an astronaut
Put on a pair of diapers
Drove eighteen hours
To kill her boyfriend
And in my hotel room, I'm wondering
If you read that story too?
And if we both might
Be having the same imaginary conversation

Four, three, two, one,
I'm letting you go
I will let go
If you will let go

Weightless as I close my eyes
The ceiling opens in disguise

Such a painful trip
To find out this is it
And as I go to sleep
You'll be waking up

Four, three, two, one,
I'm letting you go
I will let go
If you will let go

[Ben Folds]

I Am Unafraid To Speak

I am in a battle. I am constantly at war.

People are trying to tear me, my faith, my friends down. I've had enough. I combat nearly every day for the things I love. The reason I argue so much is for the people I love or the things I believe in. I am passionate toward many subjects, which brings out the animal instinct from within me.

You do not intimidate me. You, with your cutting words, trying to trip me up. You attack me, and yet I recover from every blow.

I will let my voice be heard, and I am not afraid of what you have up your sleeve.

"What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs." - Luke 12:3

I lived that verse today. Regardless of my past, I still wear a thick suit of armor in order to fight off any intruders. You have no power over me. You cannot defeat me, and you cannot win this battle.

It is not a stalemate - I will win. Believe it.

Re-Focused.

I feel like a lot of my blogs have to do about me "claiming" to get back on track in my life. I always have room to improve, of course. But get ready for one last blog about my re-focusing for the year.

I have 43 days until I am officially done with Liberty classes forever and ever. Because that number is strickeningly close, I have decided that some changes need to be made for a strong finish to my college career, as well as solidifying some constants in my life.

First of all, my diet needs to change. I grab a lot of pre-packaged foods in order to snack during classes instead of buying things in bulk or cooking my own food and bringing it with me. One of my resolutions is to not drink soda (yes, I say 'soda' now because of my 3 1/2 years in Virginia!) until I graduate. This is most likely going to be difficult seeing as I get free soda at work, and it's one of the staples I love to drink whenever I have pizza, which is every week.

Also, I've been trying to maintain/lose some weight and I still want to be a comfortable size 6 by the time of graduation. That is kind of scary since time is ticking quickly. I did work out yesterday, and I felt really refreshed from doing so, but my knees have been bothering me ever since running my 5K. On that note, my 5K was really successful! I ran the entire thing in 34:16, which equals about 11 min/mile. Clearly that isn't the best time, but I was aiming for 30 minutes, and I'm happy enough with 34:16. It was a good, quick run and over 1,700 people participated in the run! If everyone registered the $24 for the race, that means we raised almost $41,000 for freeing girls in the sex slave industry in Thailand! It was a really good environment, great weather, and an awesome community.

One other major thing that I am trying to cement as a life pattern for me is finally sticking to a devotional plan for reading from God's word every day. For years, I have struggled with reading the Bible consistently every day or every other day. On Sunday, I realized during church how refreshing it is to open God's word and to read such easy, simple truths that solidify my relationship with Christ. One of the books that really struck me was 1 Peter, and so that's where I started my daily devotional reading. Today, I re-read chapter 1 to see what I could glean from it and I read "his Spirit has made you holy" in verse 2. In some way, that's extremely overwhelming. Do you realize how much pressure is on you if you're considered holy? It's a bit too much to bear at times. Seeing that God sees me as holy pushes me to live my way in a similar light.

Anyway, to update you all, only 18 days until Thanksgiving break, 43 days until my final Final ever, and 44 days until I leave Virginia. I am excited for Christmas Break, as I am spending some much needed time with extended family and I'll be able to celebrate my graduation right. No more Liberty Way, no more censorship, and no more college responsibilities.

I am so excited to make a home for myself now, and to be responsible for decorating and keeping up my own home. I can't wait to do the things I want to do with my kitchen! If you want to get me a graduation gift, Williams&Sonoma gift cards are always acceptable. :)

To the relationships I've made in Virginia, I have thoroughly appreciated everything you all have done for me for the past four years. It has been great to grow with you, learn from group experiences, and for you all to partake in my becoming a better person. I know I have grown since freshman year, and it's been a quick wild ride.

I promise to update within the next 43 days...most likely when I'm about to break down from everything coming to a close way too fast.